


Little Moments in Time

by mollieblack



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Demisexual Dan Howell, Drinking, Drinking Games, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Light Angst, M/M, Phanfiction, Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Strangers to Lovers, YouTube
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-19 12:56:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 34,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14874158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mollieblack/pseuds/mollieblack
Summary: Dan is struggling at University. He can't even seem to pass his favorite class. That is, until his teacher offers him a way to greatly boost his grade. This assignment leads him directly into a stranger's life - possibly a stranger who could change his life in more ways than just one good grade.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So! I'm doing a new thing. Lately I've been very busy and also hitting really hard writer's block. I've also been going back to some of my earlier stories and noticing places where I wrote more what I felt the phandom wanted at the time, rather than how I really wanted to write my stories. This was my first fic I ever wrote, and now I'll be re-writing it and trying to give you guys a better, more refined, and more ME version of this story :) We'll see if I keep doing this after this fic, I suppose this is kind of a trial run. It'll (hopefully) help me be able to get much more consistent content out to you guys, though, so fingers crossed :D If you want to hear more on my thoughts/reasonings about this, feel free to comment, email me at mollieblack123@gmail.com, or follow me on tumblr at mollieblackwrites :) Hope you guys enjoy! <3

*Click*

Have you ever sat back and really thought about time? Not just to acknowledge its existence, but really stopped to think about how time is truly the one thing we can never control. It’s completely out of our hands, and no matter what we try and do to make it feel differently, it’ll always move at the same steady pace.

*Click*

However, despite its consistency, time is tricky. Even though you know deep down that it’s moving at the same pace it always has, it never feels constant. Some moments it’s rushing by terrifyingly quickly, sometimes agonizingly slow.

*Click*

Take, for instance, school. When you’re at school, time seems to slow to a crawl. Five minutes at the end of a boring class can feel like hours, and there’s nothing you can do but sit there and stare at that second hand...

*Click*

But the moment you get home, strip off your skinny jeans in favor of pyjamas, decide that homework can wait, and begin scrolling through youtube or playing video games, five hours will pass in the blink of an eye and you’ll be left wondering where the day went.

*Click*

And then, of course, like every other day, you decide it’s far too late for homework anyways. You justify it to yourself, saying that sleep and your health are much more important than one silly assignment, watch four more videos, and fall asleep with your laptop on your chest.

*Click*

And the morning will always come and you will always go back to school, dreading that moment when the teacher reaches out for your homework and you have to tell them you didn’t do it. You don’t even bother to come up with a bullshit excuse anymore. There’s no use lying when both you and your teacher know the truth.

*Click*

And finally the end of the day rolls around again, and you're stuck staring at that second hand...

*Click*

*Click*

*Click*

*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*

Papers rustled as they were shoved into bags, and the sound of the metal chair legs scraping across the linoleum filled the silence that had been there only two seconds before as the university students stood from their desks and made their way out the door.

"Daniel Howell?" He heard the name called out from the front of the room and his shoulders drooped, air whooshing from his lungs.

Shit.

Dan looked up through his fringe towards the flood of students who have successfully bottle-capped the door, blocking it up, and realized regretfully that this wasn’t one of those times where he could slip out unnoticed, pretending he’d never heard his name called.

“Daniel Howell?” The teacher called again. Sighing, the lanky boy shoved his things into his backpack, slinging it over his shoulder and shuffling up to the desk at the front of the room. He took a deep breath before looking up into the sympathetic yet disappointed gaze of Mrs. Heartwood, standing over her desk. Her lips were pursed and he could tell that she was trying very hard to give him her sternest glare, but there was a certain ever-present kindness that clung to the woman that could never fully be erased by a frown. She truly cared about her students and Dan felt a pang of guilt, because this was the one class he _did_ generally put a conscious effort into studying for. Not only was Psychology generally a bit more interesting to him than his dreary ‘History of Law’ courses, but Mrs. Heartwood made him _want_ to do well. If not for him, then for her. She truly was an excellent teacher, he was just lazy and a professional procrastinator, leaving him likely even more disappointed in himself than she was, shrinking underneath her almost motherly gaze.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Heartwood. I promise I’ll get that paper to you tomorrow.” He mumbled guiltily, wringing his wrists and looking down, not wanting to look her in the eye. He felt as if he’d disappointed his mother. Actually he felt much worse than he would if he’d disappointed his mother.

“Dear… tomorrow’s Saturday.” Her gaze softened from one of disappointment to one of concern as she sunk back into her chair and looked up at him from her desk.

"Oh... um… right… yeah. Monday, then."

Was it really Friday already? Time was moving so quickly. He felt as if he’d just started University, but every week somehow passed in a flash, while the days themselves dragged on to an eternity.

*Click*

And goddammit if Dan didn't hate the fucking clocks in this school.

*Click*

He felt as if he’d just started University yesterday, yet here he sat, nearly at the end of the semester. Winter break was approaching and he was failing most of his classes. To tell the truth he had no idea what he was doing here, but if he’d learned anything from these past few months of school, he knew he’d never be able to be happy as a lawyer. What else could he do, though? He had no other plan. He’d already committed to this. He’d already made his choice. He was out of time.

*Click*

Mrs. Heartwood looked at him for a moment in silence, gazing curiously at him before finally speaking. “You know what, Dan? Don’t worry about the paper. I think I have an assignment I’d like to give you. The other students are about to start our segment mapping out the brain, but to tell the truth I think it’s an outdated and somewhat generic lesson. I’ve been working on a new end of term project I want to start next year… and if you’re willing, I’d like you to be my guinea pig.” Dan raised his eyebrows and Mrs. Heartwood smiled, continuing. “If you do this project with my guidelines, you’ll not only get an automatic A on the final project, but I’ll give you enough extra credit to move your entire grade in the class up one full letter.” Dan felt his lips part in surprise. The final project was a huge part of their grade. He could potentially actually get not just an average, but a _good_ grade in his favorite class. His family would be proud… he’d have at least one accomplishment he could look to and say he did well in his first semester.

Mrs. Heartwood smiled as she watched him mull this over and then her eyes got wide as she dramatically looked side to side as if checking that no one else was around to overhear. Lifting a hand to block the side of her mouth, she grinned and stage-whispered, “Just between you and me, okay?” Dan’s eyes widened and he felt his lip twitch into a smile as she resumed her normal posture, smiling at him as if he’d just made her the proudest teacher on earth. He had no idea why - he hadn’t even said yes to her project - whatever it was - yet.

“Um… okay yeah maybe… what exactly would I need to do?” He asked, a bit nervous to take on a big project, but a little excited about the possibility to finally feel he accomplished and succeeded at _something_ at this school.

“Dan, I want to see you challenge yourself. This class is all about understanding peoples’ emotions, even if you can’t relate to them. It’s about understanding how people think, when they might think in an entirely different way than you. My project is a collaboration. I want you to find someone who’s willing to work with you who you feel is entirely different from you. I want you to try and understand them, not only from observing, but putting yourself in their shoes. I want you to take a leap of faith and push yourself to get out of your comfort zone. You’d keep a log, however you like, of what the experience is like, and what you can learn about how someone else’s mind works.”

"Like... you want me to stalk someone?" Dan raised an eyebrow questioningly.

“No, no, no.” Mrs. Heartwood chuckled, a smile lighting up her face. “I want you to find a mentor. I want you to go out there right now and find someone who exhibits significantly different traits and thought processes than you. You’ve been in my class all semester, I’m sure you understand what I mean. Next week I’d like you to bring them and we can all sit down and have a small meeting, and from there on you’ll have the last two weeks of school and all of winter break for your project. If you’re having trouble finding someone, send me an email by Sunday and I’ll come up with a few options for you, but I’d really prefer if you found them yourself.”

"Um... yeah sure okay. Thanks, Mrs. Heartwood." Dan was on autopilot. Two days. He had two days not only to talk to someone, but to convince them to... be his mentor? He hadn't convinced someone to hold more than two awkward minutes of small talk in the four months he'd been at university, how was he supposed to manage this? Two days?

*Click*

“I look forward to seeing how this works for you, Dan. Good luck finding them, I’ll see you on Monday.” Mrs. Heartwood smiled, and her smile warmed Dan’s heart. You could tell she truly cared, and come to think of it Dan couldn’t think of anyone in his life who he’d been so sure genuinely cared about him. His family had always been distant, and he’d never been good at making friends. He had no idea why Mrs. Heartwood was so kind and lenient with him, but he was just non self-destructive enough to decide not to question it too much. It made him want just that much more to do this project and do it well, because he knew this was to help her, and he wanted to do whatever he could to achieve that and for once in his life, not flop.

*Click*

Dan nodded in appreciation once more, sending a smile towards his teacher, then left the room. He walked briskly down the hall to the door that led outside to the courtyard that he had to cross to get to his dorm building.

He fell into his normal habit of hugging the wall as he walked, one hand up to drag his knuckles absently over the cool paint of the wall, avoiding the glances of the other students and professors milling the hallway, and simply trying to go by as unnoticed as possible. Was this hallway always so long? Why was it taking so long to reach the door?

*Click*

This thought brought him up short. What was he doing? He couldn’t just speed to his dorm and hole up in the single room he’d miraculously gotten when they’d made a mistake and assigned three people to his room at the beginning of the year. They’d also somehow ended up with an empty single that no one was willing to pay extra for, and through a stroke of luck, Dan had been given the room, no extra charge.. While he wanted nothing more than to block the world out and spend the rest of his day surfing the internet and getting lost in the endless world of youtube, he’d _just_ been given a chance to turn this semester into something other than a complete disaster. He had to at least try.

Upon this realization, Dan stopped abruptly in his tracks, right in the middle of the hallway. It wasn’t a second later that he was sent flying forward, sprawling onto the floor, and knocking his chin fairly hard against the cold tiled floor.

He spun his head around, eyes in angry slits, glaring at whoever had just knocked him down. When he looked, though, he felt his gaze soften slightly at the mess of a sight behind him.

On the ground behind Dan, a girl was flailing her arms back and forth, rolling side to side. She seemed to be glued to the floor. Well - not quite. The blonde girl with the pink-tipped hair was laying on her back on top of a backpack which much have carried a lot of weight. It was huge, and looked as if it were about to burst. The girl must have run into Dan when he stopped suddenly and fell onto her back where she now lay stuck like a beetle that had been flipped onto its back and now couldn’t roll back over, flailing about and calling for help.

“Someone! Please! Oh god, this hurts! Help me!” Several people passed in the hall, raising their eyebrows at her, but not stopping. Dan sighed and slowly got to his feet, dusting off his jeans. He walked over and reached out a hand to offer his assistance. Surprisingly, instead of taking his hand, she simply sighed and let her arms fall to her sides, seeming to give up. She looked like a bird taking flight with her arms stretched out beside her and her head lolled to the side, and she let all the air out of her chest with a laugh.

"I'm such a mess!" She exclaimed, her laughter growing.

"Yeah, well..." Dan reached his hand out further, indicating that she should take his hand and get up now, and she followed his direction, stumbling a bit as she centered the weight of the backpack on her back. Without letting go of his hand, she somehow seamlessly turned his favor into a handshake, introducing herself.

"Thank you so much, my knight in shining armor. My name's Louise! What's yours?"

"Um... Hi. I'm Dan."

"Nice to meet you Dan!" Where are you off to?"

"Oh um..." Where was he off to? His instincts told him to just say he was headed to his dorm and leave... but what if this was his chance? He needed to get out there and meet someone for this project, and he wasn't gonna get a better opportunity than this.

"I don't know actually. I just got out of class and was kind of looking for something to do." He spoke, the words feeling foreign in his mouth. Louise's face lit up, and Dan immediately wondered if this was something he'd regret.

"Well, it's a good thing you ran into me then! Or... well... I guess I ran into you. Either way, you're coming with me now!"

"Um... wait where are we going?" Dan protested and Louise grabbed his wrist and began leading him through the halls and out into the courtyard, then to the bus stop. He continued to protest and question her all the way there, but didn't get a response until they were at the stop.

"We, my new and mysterious friend, are going to an apartment me and some friends share! We're having a game night slash small party slash really whatever you want to do, and you're coming with now!" Dan paled. He had never been to a party. The idea of parties terrified him.

"Um... I'm not really a party kind of guy... maybe some other time."

"Oh, come on Dan!" She pulled at his sleeve, looking up at him with huge round eyes that he was confused he was finding trouble saying no to. "Trust me there'll only be a handful of us and it'll be mellow. If you really hate it, you can leave, and I'll make sure you get back to your dorm safe." Dan paused for a while, thinking, until he saw the bus pulling up to the stop and knew he had to make a decision.

"Okay. I'll go." He caved, the prospect of a good grade and making Mrs. Heartwood proud settling the internal debate for him..

"Really? Yes! Oh, I can't wait for you to meet everyone, Dan! They'll love you. This is going to be so much fun!" Louise was almost jumping up and down from excitement as they got on the bus, and Dan couldn't help cracking and letting a small smile and light chuckle escape as he found his seat and waited to see what the night was going to bring.


	2. Chapter 2

It was only a short bus ride to Louise’s flat. Probably less than a fifteen minute walk, but with the backpack she was lugging around, her understood her decision to wait for the bus. Dan generally had a hard time in these situations with making conversation, usually settling for either smalltalk or uncomfortable silence. With Louise, however, he quickly learned that this wouldn’t be an issue. She filled every empty moment with a new story about a cute puppy she saw earlier that day, or the guy she’d kissed at the party last week and she was hoping would text her. She talked about the teacher who unfairly marked her down for being late because she  _ had  _ to stop at that yard sale where they were selling homemade dresses!

Dan would be lying if he said he wasn’t overwhelmed, but he was surprised to realize it’d also be a lie to say he wasn’t enjoying himself. This was the longest he’d talked to someone in a long time, to be honest, and he enjoyed the feeling. Louise was clearly a very passionate person, and he liked watching the fire light behind her eyes as she delved deeper into a story. Honestly, it wasn’t more than a five minute bus ride, but somehow he learned more about her in those five minutes than he felt he knew about himself.

He reflected back on his project for a moment; the main reason he’d agreed to attend this party. Yes, Louise was nice, and loads of fun, and very,  _ very  _ different from himself, but he wasn’t so sure he’d be able to keep up with her. Maybe. Either way, he was happy to have made… an acquaintance? A friend? He wasn’t quite sure where they stood yet, but he hadn’t talked to anyone else at the school for this long. Oh well, labels had never really been Dan’s thing, and he wasn’t gonna get hung up on whether or not she was his ‘friend’... there was a much more pressing issue.

Walking up to the building, he quickly realized that he and Louise had very different ideas of what an ‘apartment’ was. This was its own building. It looked to be a duplex, two stories high, and fairly large. He raised his eyebrows, impressed, and wondered how college students could afford all this.

“So... how many of you live here?” He asked.

"Oh! Well there's me, my best friend Zoe and her boyfriend Alfie, Tyler, Phil, and me! And I mean, people are always crashing on our couches and everything. We all chip in for rent and rent out the entire building, and when people come over, we have a box they can put some cash in for the booze fund for the next party! To be honest though, it just goes towards our rent, and Tyler pays for our booze out of pocket. Though he makes Alfie buy the booze himself because Alfie looks older. Not that it even matters here! OH! I forgot to tell you, Tyler's American! He's not quite twenty one so I think he's just paranoid and forgets that it's legal here! It's funny how Americans...."

Dan found himself zoning out a bit as Louise went on to debate with herself the pros and cons of an older legal drinking age, rattling off a few statistics about America’s issues with teenage drunk drivers. He was still in awe of the house. He wouldn’t lie - he was jealous. He hated being crammed into a tiny dorm. Being constantly surrounded on every side by loud obnoxious teenagers was hell to him. This was a much nicer neighborhood, and he envied the space they must have.

The minute Louise opened the door, all thoughts of the house left his mind as he realized he had not at all prepared himself for meeting more new people.

"HELLO EVERYONE, I'M HOME AND I BROUGHT A NEW FRIEND! EVERYONE COME MEET DAN!" Louise called out immediately upon entering the house. Dan almost clapped his hand over her mouth. He would much rather slowly and naturally meet everyone one by one than be affronted by them all at once, trying to juggle six conversations at the same time. Not to mention the inevitable interrogation about yourself that comes with any group meeting one singular person. Dan hadn't prepared for this.

“Why hello there, gorgeous! Wait… let me guess… Dan?” A short boy with bright, mint-colored hair swooped up into a quiff approached him, grinning as he shoved his hand forward. Dan hesitated a moment before reaching out to shake hands, hoping his palms weren’t too sweaty. He’d intended on it being a simple handshake, but the shorter boy clearly had other ideas. He grinned as he raised Dan’s hand up to his mouth, grazing his lips over Dan’s knuckles. “It’s a pleasure.” He spoke lowly, smirking as he winked up at Dan, who jerked his hand back in surprise and glanced over at Louise, panic clear in his eyes. 

“Tyler, are you drunk  _ already? _ ” Louise asked, crossing her arms before turning to Dan. “I’m so sorry - pay no mind to him, he’s harmless. That’s just his way of saying hello. Oh, and yes, Tyler. Alfie had his date with Zoe today so I went out, and…” Louise hefted her gigantic backpack onto a table, unzipping it and letting several bottles of different sorts of alcohol pour out. “Here you go, as ordered! You’re lucky too - when I met this one…” She indicated Dan with her elbow. “...he knocked me over and it’s honestly a miracle none of these broke!” 

Dan stood wide-eyed at the collection before him as Tyler tutted at him, opening a bottle of tequila and taking a swig straight from the bottle. 

“Is no one else home?” Louise asked Tyler and he shrugged, setting the bottle back down.

"Well Zoe and Alfie are still out on their date, and I think Phil is up in his room finishing up a video, but he should be down soon." 

"Finishing a video?" Dan asked, surprising himself that he had actually spoken up and asked a question.

"Phil makes video blogs on YouTube! He's actually pretty good, he's gotten quite a few followers." Louise explained. That was interesting. Dan spent most of his life on YouTube, and wondered if he'd ever watched this 'Phil'. He must have stumbled across at least one of his videos at some point...

"I made him promise that he'd actually join in tonight, but in return I had to promise to not bother him for two hours so he could finish editing a video." Tyler pouted.

"Aww, poor Tyler, left all alone to drink by himself, on a Friday night..." Louise teased.

Tyler and Louise were now talking, and it gave Dan a chance to really look around the room they were in. To his left was a small dining room that led back to a kitchen, and to his right was a living room with a fireplace that led back to what he assumed was a bathroom and bedroom, and straight ahead was a staircase leading up to the second floor. Most of it was fairly standard, there was a modern feel to the apartment, complete with a clock suspended how he could only assume was magnetically between two bars hanging above the stairs.

*Click*

"I know! It's been awful! So horribly tedious! But hey, there's only..." Tyler stared at his wrist for a few moments, before realizing there was no watch there, and looking towards the clock. "An hour and forty minutes left!" 

"Wait didn't you say before that it was just two hours? It's only been twenty minutes?" Louise laughed, shaking her head.

*Click*

"Shut up! Tyler took another swig of the tequila and looked around the room for a minute, as if to decide what to do next. Okay, so Dan! What's your deal?" Tyler turned to conversation back to Dan, snapping him out of his momentary daze, staring at the clock which read 7:23. Tyler was already this tipsy before eight?

"Um..." Dan shuffled his feet, looking down at them, and wondering how to answer that question. "Well, I'm majoring in Law..." 

"Really?" Asked Louise. "I did not have you pegged as the Lawyer type.” 

Dan nodded, chuckling under his breath. "Yeah few do... To be honest I don't even know if I'm the Lawyer type... but there's no turning back now, is there?"

"Hey!" Tyler put up a finger, halting all discussion. "You can be any type. Or no type at all. You don't have to conform..... or put labels on anything! Just.... you do you.... There's always room to change.... and explore.... and...." Tyler drifted off, staring at the clock. 

*Click*

"Alright, honey," Louise was giggling, as she guided Tyler to a chair in the dining room, and took the bottle of tequila from him. "Gotta save some room for later!" she waltzed into the kitchen, setting the bottle down and trading it for a glass she snatched out of the cupboard, filling it with some water and bringing it back to Tyler who obediently began sipping. 

At this moment, Dan heard some voices - a high pitched girl's giggles, and a raspy voice cackling along with her. Only a moment later, a door at the end of the dining room opened and two people, presumably Zoe and Alfie Dan decided, came through the door. Dan could see through the door that the other room was mostly a mirror of this room, and this door must be the connection between the two sides of the duplex. 

"Hey, mate! I'm Alfie, this is Zoe." the girl waved, with a small 'hi', and the boy reached his hand out for a handshake. Dan complied, though he was still a bit shaken by his 'handshake' with Tyler. He wasn't much for physical contact with people, and a normal handshake was already a bit much for him, but he didn't want to come across as weird to these people he was just meeting. 

"I'm Dan." Dan said, not knowing what else there was to say to fill the silence.

Zoe left the room for a moment, and came back in with two large grocery bags, plopping them on the table.

"Have at it!" she encouraged, shoving one over slightly so that a few bags of chips and some seven layer dip came spilling out of one. Tyler began trying to set everything out on the table, but he was having a bit of trouble and began leaning on one of the bags of chips, so Dan stepped in to help set up the snacks. There was a huge assortment, from chips and dip to juice to assorted chocolates and sour candy. It was all you could ask for. 

Louise was now telling Zoe and Alfie about that guy she had kissed earlier... apparently his name was Matt and she had invited him tonight and was nervous about whether or not he would show. She was explaining things she had mostly already told Dan, so he sat himself down at the dining room table next to Tyler, began snacking on some pretzels, and found himself staring at that hanging clock once again. 

*Click*

"You know it has batteries?"

"Huh?" Dan turned. He had no idea how long he'd been spacing out.

"The clock. It has batteries." Tyler repeated.

"Wait... why? Isn't it magnetic?" Dan questioned.

"Yeah! We were all so confused! We took them out and it still works fine. One of the mysteries of life I suppose." 

Dan didn't exactly know how to respond to this, so he just nodded, and went back to studying the clock.

*Click*

Maybe he shouldn't have come here. Louise was wrapped up in her conversation and Dan wasn't feeling like he was hitting it off too well with any of her friends.

*Click*

Tyler was nice and all, but right now he was just drunk enough that for Dan, completely sober, it wasn't easy to relate to him that much.

*Click*

Maybe Dan just wasn't made for social settings. Maybe that was okay.

*Click*

He did enjoy his time alone. He enjoyed being in his own space, and being around other people only ever brought him stress.

*Click* 

Maybe he should tell Louise he was just going to head home. Yeah. That would probably be the best idea. He didn't want to intrude if he was just planning on leaving anyways. 

*Click* 

Just as Dan was about to stand up, he heard loud footsteps come down the hall, and a tall lanky boy with jet black straightened hair half-walked, half-skipped into the main room.

"Hey guys! Finished up early today! Oh, hi! My name's Phil." The boy grinned, raising a hand up a little in a small greeting wave.

"Hi, I'm Dan." He felt he had perfected that line by now. The black haired boy smiled a lopsided grin at him, with wide blue eyes staring straight into Dan's, who almost immediately shifted his gaze to a spot on the floor, taking his hand back and crossing his arms. "Uh... nice to meet you."

"Likewise! Sorry, I was just up filming a new video for my YouTube channel!"

"Yeah I uh... I've seen a few of your videos." Now that Dan could see this boy, he recognized him from a few videos he'd seen online. He didn't remember them too clearly, just a black and white video with a stuffed lion, and a video of him and some friends in a car going on a road trip. "Your username is AmazingPhil, right?"

"Oh my god, you actually have seen me? Guys I told you, I'm famous!" Phil announced, hands on hips, with a slight smirk. After basking in it for a few seconds, while people shouted out 'sure' and 'you wish', he turned back to Dan, chuckling. "That's actually amazing though. I hope you don't immediately want to run away?"

"No, I liked them. I mean I don't remember them too clearly it's been a while. I was just thinking about maybe taking off..." 

"Oh, no no NO! The party is just getting started!" Louise protested. "Alright, guys! What game are we starting with toda-" she hadn't even gotten the word out before Tyler interrupted, breaking in front of her arm pushing her behind him.

"JENGA! Hey! Next weekend is my birthday which means that you guys can't say no to me."

Zoe giggled at this "Tyler, that's not how it works!"

"It is in my house Zoe! And we are playing some good ol' classic Jenga.... with a twist!"

Dan looked to Phil who was still standing right next to him. "With a twist?" he whispered, apprehensively. Phil looked at him, somewhat apologetically, as if to prepare him for what was to come. 

"It's Tyler's favorite drinking game. Every block is either a truth or a dare, black is truth, red is dare, and if you make the tower fall everyone has to drink. You can also chicken out... but then you have to drink." 

Dan hesitated, looking at the clock for only a second. If he was going to bail, now was his chance.

*Click*

Phil sat on the floor in the circle that was forming, and looked up, raising his eyebrows at Dan, patting the ground next to him as an invitation to join the circle. Dan took a deep breath.

*Click*

Dan sat down, officially beginning his first ever party game.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phil's POV

Phil patted the ground next to him, smiling and offering the other boy a seat beside him. He had to fight that instinct inside of him that said to get as far away from the other boy as possible. He knew it was ridiculous, but he was awful at drawing comparisons between himself and others, and this boy was giving him that tugging gut feeling of jealousy that he felt every time he met a clearly attractive man. He was always terrified of comparisons being drawn between them and being seen as lesser, but despite that feeling, Phil was deep down a reasonable and kind-hearted person, so he shoved these feelings down and tried to make the obviously uncomfortable boy feel welcomed. 

Much to his surprise, Dan, after a moment of contemplation, gave a small nod of his head and plopped down onto the floor beside Phil. Shooting the brown haired boy a small lopsided smile, he turned back to Tyler who was slamming a bottle down into the middle of the circle, looking around with a mischievous grin. He put down the bottle of vodka and looked at Dan, raising one eyebrow slightly.

Uh oh. Phil knew that look. To anyone who didn't know Tyler, that look would have gone completely unnoticed, but Phil knew that it was a challenge. He knew Tyler was going to make a clear point of targeting Dan, seeing just how much he could get Dan to admit. It was a sort of initiation Tyler did. He had done it with all the others in this circle the first time he met each of them, respectively. Phil supposed it may be a good thing, because he only did this with people he liked, and saw as potential friends in the future, but in the meantime, he could already tell the boy next to him was nervous, and Phil was going to have to try to help him out. He didn't want to scare this kid off. 

Louise seemed to pick up on this too, as Phil saw her shoot Tyler a look, and then reach out, shimmying a block from the center of the tower. The entire tower teetered for a second, but then settled down. Why had Phil promised Tyler he'd participate today? Jenga was the worst. It didn't  _ seem _ like it'd result in too much drinking - if you don't chicken out, you only have to drink when the tower falls, right?

The only problem with that was that as the game goes on, people get increasingly inebriated, lose some general coordination, and eventually it seems as if the tower is getting knocked over every time it's touched. Phil was in for one hell of a night. 

Louise took out the black block, and began reading, "Have you ever skinny di..."

"Girl, you know that's not what we're playing!" Tyler objected.

"Aw, come on, my mind is too tired to come up with original questions." Louise pouted.

"Hey! My game!" Tyler pointed at her, eyes wide, looking very earnest.

"Okay, okay fine..." 

Phil looked over and saw Dan seemingly confused, and leaned in close to the boy's ear to whisper, "Basically the block color just indicates truth or dare. Once you've chosen a block, you have to make your own truth or dare. Tyler doesn't view this version as 'extreme enough'." 

Dan had flinched back a bit as he felt Phil's breath rustling through his hair, hitting his ear, but nodded gratefully at the explanation. He raised an eyebrow a bit at the word 'extreme', and turned his head to Phil, raising his eyebrows fully now with a small smile tickling his lips. It was mostly a nervous smile, eyes wide, and his look told Phil 'what have I gotten myself into?'. Phil chuckled a bit, shrugged and shook his head, and they both turned back to the center of the circle. 

"Okay.... group question!" Louise announced.

"Hey, that's not the rules!" Alfie protested.

"Well, we're already not playing by the rules, so..." Louise countered, and was met by a conceding shrug from Alfie. "Okay, group question: have you ever been in love?"

Louise looked to her left, indicating that Tyler begin and they continue around the circle clockwise. 

"Hell yeah I have! I fall in love with everyone I'm ever with! It's a real problem actually..." Tyler laughed at himself, turning to Zoe next to him.

"Um...." Phil only noticed now that both Zoe and Alfie were beet red. They had only been dating about three months, and Zoe talked to Phil a good amount about their relationship, so he knew they hadn't said 'the L word' yet. "Yeah.... I think I have..." she said quietly, her gaze not leaving the floor. 

Since Zoe's eyes were on the floor, she couldn't see what the rest of the group did, which was Alfie's huge eyebrows shooting so far up on his head they looked to be trying to unite with his hairline. His look of shock slowly melted into a look of adoration, as he lightly took her chin in his fingers, tilting her head up to look at him.

"To answer your question Louise..." he said softly, not looking away from Zoe for one second. "Yes. I am in love." There was a collective "awwwww" from around the group as Alfie leaned down, kissing Zoe. 

"You guys are disgusting" Tyler threw in as they broke apart, and everyone chuckled a bit, turning to Phil. He sighed.

"No." he said simply. He didn't care to explain. He kept his eyes on his hands which had began fiddling with themselves, knowing that his flatmates all must be looking at him in surprise. They had all thought he had been in love, clearly, as he had only recently ended a near four-year relationship with a girl Emma. They had began dating in high school, and were together all through the start of Senior year of University. He knew that most people wouldn't go a year in a relationship without confessing their love… but they’d gone four, and never gotten there.

Well...  _ he _ hadn't confessed his love. About seven months in, Emma had told him she loved him, and he had balked, turning white as a ghost. She was understanding, and told him he didn't have to feel any pressure to say it back. She had tried several more times throughout the years they were together, but Phil didn't want to lie to her, and he just knew that what he was feeling wasn't love. He enjoyed her company. She was a wonderful person, and he loved her as a friend, he just wasn't  _ in  _ love with her. 

Nothing about Emma had ever given him that tingling sensation he always heard people talk about. He never felt nervous around her, or felt as if fireworks went off as they kissed. They hadn't even kissed much. I mean, in four years they had obviously had  _ some _ physical experiences with each other, but when compared next to couples like Zoe and Alfie, they probably seemed like brother and sister. Actually, a few times people had thought that they were brother and sister, to which Phil was never all that surprised. 

In the end, Emma ended things with him. He wasn't upset at all, honestly he was surprised it had taken her that long. He knew he didn't feel as much romantically towards her as he should have, but he hadn’t want to hurt her feelings. He’d thought that maybe his feelings could change with time, so he decided to let her be the one to end things. Clearly, four years in, when he hadn't said the smallest thing hinting towards him having serious feelings towards her, she politely told him that she thought it best that they just be friends. 

They were for a few weeks. It didn't feel much different to Phil, but then she decided she was going to try to graduate a semester early, and had been lost to the world in her own little universe of books and papers, trying to finish them all by the end of the term. 

He hadn't actually seen her in about a week and a half, which was strange, as he hadn't gone that long without seeing her in all the time they had been together. They had only broken up a little under a month ago, but he felt like that was a past lifetime. 

Phil could feel the eyes in the room glued on him as everyone froze, shocked by his words. After a few seconds, he sensed Dan shift next to him, as he calmly stated "Me neither." The room seemed to sense the shift, and moved their attention to Dan, which Phil was very grateful for. "Tyler, I think it's your turn." continued Dan, and Phil's answer seemed to have been forgotten. He shot Dan a grateful look, and Dan returned it with a small, understanding smile.


	4. Chapter 4

Of course he hadn't ever been in love. He hadn't even had his first kiss. Honestly, he wasn't even sure he'd ever had much of a crush on anyone, and he was beginning to think that maybe he was aromantic and/or asexual. He had spent a lot of time looking those terms up online, and reading what people who identified that way had to say about it. He wasn't sure he identified with the same ways they felt, so he didn't know. Maybe he just hadn't met the right person yet?

People had flirted with him here and there throughout his life, but he was just never interested. They were always strangers, and Dan just didn't understand the concept of beginning a relationship with flirting. He felt that he would need to have an established friendship first to develop romantic feelings at all. Starting with romance felt fake to him, and he never returned the few advances he had received throughout the years, so this question was easy for him, answering with few words, and then moving the game along to Tyler. He could tell Phil was uncomfortable with his answer, and saw the way the group looked at him. He knew how it felt to have people staring at you that way, as if something is wrong with you, and didn't even really think about taking the lead to get that attention off of Phil, he just did it.

Tyler's eyes went dark, and he got a mischievous look on his face, pulling out a red block seamlessly. "Dan. I dare you to take off your shirt and leave it off until it's your turn." Dan raised his eyebrows, reaching forward for the vodka, and taking a swig. He could tell Tyler was testing him, and he figured he'd make it clear from the start that he wouldn't be humiliating himself today. Tyler nodded, taking this information in, and turned to Zoe, as it was her turn.

The game continued this way for a while. Louise drank when Alfie dared her to let Tyler tickle her stomach, Alfie drank at Zoe's dare for him to kiss Tyler, who seemed incredibly offended. The tower was knocked down a few times, to which they passed the bottle around, and everyone drank. All of Tyler's questions and dares were aimed towards Dan, most of which he drank to. At this point, Dan's head was feeling warm and slightly fuzzy, and he was just at the point where he wanted to stop drinking. He didn't want to get drunk tonight, and this was just the pleasant buzz he liked. There was a small pause through the group as Zoe reached for a block just as Alfie playfully grabbed her sides, tickling her, and the entire tower came falling down. 

The group just stared at the blocks for a bit, before Alfie mumbled a small "sorry", taking the bottle, and passing it around.

"You guys, I think it's time for a break! How about a movie and snacks?" Louise suggested. Dan was grateful for this. This game was kind of silly, and he didn't care to drink more right now. Everyone murmured assent. Even Tyler only seemed slightly disappointed, but quickly got excited again when the group decided he could choose the movie. 

"You guys, we’re gonna go back to the classics! He announced, rifling through a drawer of DVDs below their television in the living room. Dan helped the group bring over all the snacks to the living room. Tyler plopped onto one side of the couch, remote in hand, Zoe and Alfie staking claim to the other side. Louise settled into an armchair, and Phil leaned up against the couch in front of Tyler, seated on the floor. 

Dan wasn't sure where to go, but once again, Phil seemed to notice, and looked up, tapping the ground next to him. Dan shuffled over, carrying a bowl of tortilla chips and a smaller bowl of guacamole, and settled down next to Phil, leaning against the couch. Tyler excitedly clapped his hands, and hit play, revealing the movie he had chosen, Aladdin. Dan smiled a bit, as an old Disney animated film seemed perfect to him right now.

"Don't mind if I do!" Phil quietly exclaimed, leaning towards Dan, brushing against his shoulder, and taking a chip with some guacamole, then returning to his original position next to Dan, munching on his snack. Dan chuckled a bit, feeling slightly lightheaded. He was further gone than he thought originally. Standing up and moving things around had alerted him to the fact that he had taken several shots at this point, and was actually quite drunk. 

They watched the movie, singing along with the songs. Zoe had a beautiful ringing voice, and Phil had an intriguing deep tone, while the rest of them half sang, half shouted the songs. By the end, Zoe and Alfie were near asleep, and said their goodbyes, waving, as they exited this side of the duplex, Zoe shouting back one last, "It was nice to meet you, Dan!" 

Dan smiled in their direction, then looked back at their group. At this point he still felt tipsy, but it had gone down a bit, and he was just enjoying watching an old film that reminded him of being young. 

"Another?" Asked Louise, looking around the room and raising her eyebrows at the boys. 

"Do you even have to ask?" responded Tyler, hopping up, and switching the DVDs. Phil slowly stood, steadying himself on the couch, and made his way to the open side of the couch left by Alfie and Zoe's departure. Dan felt slightly cold alone on the floor now, and shrunk back a little.

"Don't tell me you're gonna sit there all alone for the whole movie." He heard from behind him, turning to see Phil with a smile across his face, gesturing to the couch beside him. Dan made his way up to the couch, tripping slightly, and ending up sprawled with one arm across Phil. leaning against his shoulder. He sighed in defeat, staying there for a moment before righting himself, apologizing, and sitting on the couch next to Phil. 

Tyler made his way back, leaning against the armrest on the other side of the chair, sprawling his legs across the couch, onto Dan's lap. He sighed, figuring it'd be easier just to allow Tyler to do this than to object at all, and simply scooted slightly closer to Phil's side of the couch, as to not fall into the crack between the cushions.

They sat this way through Peter Pan, and then through the Lion King, only taking a small break between to all have another shot, as Tyler deemed it necessary to deal with the tragic death of Mufasa. Dan was pretty sure he still saw a few tears from Tyler during the harrowing scene. At the end of the movie, Louise stood up and stretched. 

"Alright boys, I think it's time for me to hit the hay. Tyler, Phil, make sure to set Dan up somewhere to sleep tonight or get him a cab back to his dorm and make sure he gets back safe?" Phil nodded in agreement, and that was all the encouragement Louise needed to stumble up the stairs to where Dan presumed her bedroom was. 

It was down to just Phil, Tyler, and Dan on the couch, and they just sat there, slightly buzzed for a moment. Dan looked up at the clock. It was already 2:36? He hadn't meant to stay out this late...

*Click*

The idea of getting back to his dorm in the state he was in seemed about as unrealistic as climbing Mt. Everest right now...

*Click*

Why did that clock come with batteries?

*Click*

How long had he and Phil's legs been touching?

*Click*

"Alright, I'm gonna try to clean some of this up." Phil announced as he pushed himself off the couch, beginning to clumsily moving some of the bowls of food over to the dining table. 

"Phil? You'll take care of Danny here?" Tyler asked. Normally Dan would hate this use of a nickname by someone he barely knew, but they were both drunk, and he decided to let it go.

"Yeah I got him, you get some rest, okay?" Tyler nodded, and flipped over, burying his face in the couch pillow. Dan untangled himself from Tyler's ankles which were still partially on his lap, and began helping Phil clean up.

"I can go home tonight, I don't want you to have to worry about taking care of me." Dan mumbled. He knew the offer was a bit empty, and he knew Phil was aware of that as well, but he felt bad asking this stranger who wasn't even the one to invite him here to go out of his way to help Dan.

"Nonsense, you're not going anywhere like this." 

"Hey, I'm not  _ that _ bad!" Dan protested. Phil raised an eyebrow, putting up two fingers, and lightly prodding Dan's shoulder, to which he stumbled back a few steps. 

"Mhmmm, sure." Phil examined his work of the, now slightly tidier room, and seemed to deem it good enough. His eyes finished scanning the room, and ended up resting on the boy on the couch, now snoring, and a frown crossed Phil's face. "Well, the plan  _ was _ to set you up on the couch once Tyler went back to his room, but it looks like that's not happening. It's okay, you can just stay in my room."

"Okay, you sure? I don't want to intrude." 

"No, it's fine. Just please tell me you don't kick people in bed." Phil chuckled.

"Oh I mean. I'm fine on the floor, really I don't want to butt into your space." Phil laughed, shaking his head, and began walking towards the bedroom off of the living room. Dan followed behind in confusion. Opening the door, Phil gestured generally to the room. Dan now saw why Phil laughed when he had offered to sleep on the floor.

The room was small. Not tiny, but cozily small. There was a large queen-sized bed with a checkered blue and green duvet, and lining the walls stood a dresser, a desk, and a trunk. Every other bit of floorspace in the room seemed to be taken up by tripods and standing lights pointed at the bed. Dan had no idea how Phil could ever make it to the dresser, as there were so many pieces of equipment and wires littering the floor.

"Yeah... I don't think you'll be sleeping on the floor." Phil chuckled, watching the brown haired boy.

"I see what you mean... Phil?" 

"Yeah?"

"You know what this would look like to anyone who didn't know YouTube, right?" Dan raised an eyebrow, giving Phil a half smile. 

"And  _ that _ is why I keep my door closed." Phil announced, and at that, strode over through a small walkway between a light and a tripod, hopping onto his bed and rolling onto his back. "Well, are you just gonna stand in the door like a deer in the headlights? Close the door and turn off the light, please!" Dan obeyed, stepping one foot as close to the bed as he could get while still in reach of the light switch before flicking it off, so he had a sense of the safe path to take towards the bed. 

Once he switched off the light, he noticed a small night light across the room, illuminating the bottom of Phil's chin, and creating silhouettes of all the equipment in the room facing the two of them. Dan slowly crawled under the duvet and laid on his back, looking at all the cameras pointed towards them. There was something very disconcerting about trying to sleep while you had cameras all angled straight towards you. You felt as if you were being watched.

"Phil?" Dan broke the empty silence after a few minutes, not even knowing if the raven haired boy was still awake.

"Yeah?"

"Why did all your friends react so weirdly when you said you'd never been in love?" Dan didn't even know where the question came from. The silence hadn't even been all that awkward, so he wasn't asking a question just to fill the space. He hadn't even been thinking about that question from earlier, just settling into his tipsy rest and letting his mind wander, and the words had simply poured out. Dan cringed, hoping he hadn't just hit a sore spot, as earlier Phil had seemed uncomfortable with the question. Much to his relief, Phil let out a low, almost wistful and slightly sad laugh.

"I had a girlfriend. Her name was Emma, we dated for years and she was a close part of our group. I guess they assumed that being together so long meant love, but I don't know. It just never felt like love to me. Maybe there's something wrong with me, I don't know." Dan nodded. He understood that. He had always felt that maybe there was something wrong with him. That was, at least, until he discovered that there were other people who had never been romantically attracted to anyone, however he still wondered if something was wrong with him, as he never felt that he was truly part of that 'group'.

Dan glanced at Phil, and saw a small smile flicker across his face, illuminated from his bottom lip by the nightlight. Dan smiled a bit, and closed his eyes, grateful that there was no loud clock in this room.


	5. Chapter 5

Dan woke up slowly, blinking himself awake. The room was dark except for the little night light coming from across the room. He didn’t have a nightlight. Why was this bed so comfortable? His dorm bed usually felt like a rock. He was about to sit up in confusion and look around, when his eyes adjusted enough to see the camera equipment littering the room and it all flooded back to him. He’d done it. He’d actually survived his first ever party. Well - mostly survived. The painful throbbing in his head was hard to ignore.

What time was it? It felt like morning, and a tiny bit of light was shining into the room from under the crack of the door, but it was hard to tell. Dan squinted, just about to make out the outline of a pitch black heavy curtain covering what he assumed was a window. It made sense, he thought. Phil must have to black-out the room for making videos to control the lighting. Just then, Dan remembered. Phil!

Rolling to his other side, Dan noticed the bed was empty. He reached over to the end table, clicking on a small lamp and immediately noticing a small piece of paper placed on the table. It was folded like a letter, and on the outside the name ‘Dan’ was scrawled out hurriedly. The brunette opened up the letter, curious, and was met with some of the worst handwriting he’d ever seen. After a few minutes of decoding, however, he was pretty sure he was able to decipher the lazy scrawlings.

**_Hey Dan, if you're reading this it's because you woke up while I was gone. I shouldn't be gone long, in the meantime help yourself to any food in the kitchen. Right out of this room and to the left is my bathroom and you're welcome to take a shower, there's a clean towel on the shelf across from the sink, and you're welcome to borrow some of my clothes, I laid out an outfit I think you might like and might fit you on top of my dresser. Be back soon!_ **

Dan sighed, placing the letter back to its original resting spot. To tell the truth, a shower did sound enticing. He felt disgusting, still able to smell the alcohol on himself. Slowly, he got out of the bed, cursing the pangs of pain that flashed behind his eyes, and tiptoed over to Phil’s dresser, careful not to knock over any equipment. On the top there was a pair of black skinny jeans, a grey plaid short sleeve button up, a pair of boxers, and some mismatched black and white socks, one with bats and the other with spider webs. They must have been part of a Halloween set. Dan chuckled a bit, looking at the clothing. Phil had obviously picked up on his love of everything monochromatic. He picked up the clothes and tiptoed over wires to the door.

Stepping out into the hallway, his eyes were assaulted by the light. It didn’t sound like anyone was up and about in the house, and he slipped into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. He put his clean clothes on the sink counter, hanging the towel from the shelf over the curtain rod, and stepping onto the cold tiles of the shower.

The second the water hit his back, Dan felt a new surge of energy go through him. He actually felt like he might be able to face the day. Sure, he was exhausted and hungover, but he’d actually made a few friends. Or at least he was in the process of it. Giving himself a mental pat on the back, he stepped out of the shower and put on Phil’s clothes. It felt weird to be wearing someone else’s clothes - especially someone else’s boxers, but he was honestly surprised at how well it all fit him, and decided not to dwell on the strangeness of it all. He squeezed some toothpaste onto his finger, running it over his teeth to try and get the taste of vodka out of his mouth, then slipped back into the comfort of Phil’s dark room where he laid back down in the bed and drifted quickly back to sleep.

“Dan? Dan, it’s time to wake up.”

Dan heard the voice prodding at him and slowly blinked his eyes open, squinting at the light in the room. He raised a hand to cover his eyes and saw Phil standing over him, a hand rested gently on the brunette’s shoulder.

“Hey, sleepyhead. I got us coffee - it’ll help your head.” Phil smiled, and Dan noticed he had a cup in his other hand that he handed to Dan, retrieving another from the end table.

“Could you turn off the light?” Dan groaned and Phil nodded, flicking on the dim lamp on the end table before turning off the main light, leaving them in a soft dark glow.

"Thank you." Dan replied groggily, lifting the cup to his lips and taking a long sip before putting it on the table, unsure how much he could consume right now.

"Your hair is curly!" exclaimed Phil, and Dan’s eyes went wide. He realized immediately that he had taken a shower, and of course his hair had curled. He hated people to see him like this, and pulled the duvet up and over his head, hiding from Phil.

"Oh god, don't look at me." He only halfway joked.

“It looks fine. I like it actually, I think it suits you. Come on out.” Phil prodded and Dan groaned but complied, sitting up fully, the duvet around his waist. As he emerged from the covers, Phil’s face lit up with a smile, looking down to see the shirt Dan was wearing - borrowed from Phil. He realized maybe Phil hadn’t expected him to actually take up the offer of borrowing clothes, and began worrying that maybe it’d just been offered as a nicety, and Phil hadn’t _actually_ wanted him to wear the clothes.  

His mind was eased quickly as Phil grinned, sitting down on the edge of the bed and taking a sip of his own coffee. “You look good in that shirt. It was my least bright one, and I figured from yesterday’s getup…” He trailed off and Dan chuckled in assent. His outfit yesterday had been black head to toe. In fact, most days Dan could be found wearing black from head to toe. It was easy, and he felt that it was flattering.

“Thanks. Yeah, my clothes kinda reeked of vodka, it was nice to be able to get into something clean. Thank you.” He picked his coffee back up off the end table, taking another sip and thanking god that coffee somehow seemed to be a miracle cure for hangovers. “What is this?” He asked after a few more sips, starting to finally appreciate the sweet flavor of the drink as well as its healing effects on his head.

"Caramel Macchiato. I didn't know what you liked, so I just got you what I always get myself."

"That's what I thought it was. That's my order usually too, actually. Thanks." Dan smiled a bit, nursing the drink.

“So what are your plans for the day?” Phil asked, a smile creeping onto his face. What _was_ he doing today? It was a good question. He’d planned on trying to find this ‘mentor’ Mrs. Heartwood had assigned him to choose, but he didn’t feel up to socializing with more new people right now. He’d met and talked to more people in the past twenty four hours than he had all semester. Honestly his head hurt and he just felt like half-watching a movie in bed. Not this bed, of course. He had to give Phil his room back, as nice as the mattress here was. He should be getting back to his dorm, though. A part of him whined internally at the thought of putting in all the effort to get back to his small, sad, quiet dorm, but he knew that he should.

"I don't know... probably just gonna take it easy." Dan responded, a little glumly.

“Well… do you think I could entice you into breakfast in bed and some bad TV? Or good TV if you prefer.” Phil offered, eyes glinting. Dan only hesitated for a moment, feeling slightly guilty to be in Phil’s space. What if he’d had plans for the day and now Dan was mucking them all up? He dismissed this quickly, however, seeing the hopeful look in Phil’s eyes. It wasn’t difficult to cave to the idea of nibbling on some food while watching TV in a dark, warm and cozy room. Maybe add some tylenol into the picture, and it was adding up to sound like a pretty perfect day.

“Actually… that sounds kind of wonderful to be honest. And bad TV all the way - I don’t think I have the brainpower for good TV right now.” Dan smiled and Phil grinned too, hopping off the bed.

“I’ll be back in a few with food. You choose what we’re gonna watch! My laptop’s on the trunk, the password is amazinglion. No caps, no spaces. And if you look through my browser history…” Phil’s voice dropped as he seemed to make the most sinister face he could, but Dan couldn’t help think he looked more constipated than anything else, trying to fight the giggles bubbling in his chest. “I _will_ know.” Phil growled menacingly before dropping the act and giving Dan one last smile before moving to leave.

"Wait, Phil!" He called out. Phil's head popped back around the door.

"Yeah?"

"Do you have any tylenol?" Dan asked, and Phil smiled sympathetically, nodding.

"I'll bring you back some with your food."

“Thank you.” Dan smiled, making his way over to the laptop before returning to the comfort of the bed. He typed in the password and opened up Netflix. It was only 8:42 AM. He didn’t know how long Phil wanted to stay in bed watching TV, but there was a good opportunity for a true binging session in front of him, and Dan began scrolling. He found his thoughts more occupied by his sudden new… acquaintance? Friend? Once again he didn’t know the name to put to this new relationship, but he found it taking over his thoughts, mindlessly scrolling and not truly looking at what was on the screen before him.

How was he already so comfortable with this boy? He hadn’t even known him for twenty four hours, yet somehow it was just easy with him. He felt safe - he almost really did feel he could call Phil his friend. It was strange, because truly Dan really barely knew anything about him. He didn’t even know what year he was in - or what major - or even if he was at University at all for that matter. Why did Dan, the loner who couldn’t seem to hold a conversation with anyone for more than a few moments before becoming awkward, feel almost no anxiety at the thought of spending a whole day with Phil? It didn’t matter what they did - he just felt confident that he’d be notably happier just by being around Phil, and that realization threw him for a loop.

Dan pondered this for a while, spacing out a bit, before he heard shuffling and clattering from the kitchen. His eyes moved to the clock on the computer. 8:59. He stared for a moment.

*Click*

The clock turned over to 9:00. He’d been sat, staring at the Netflix browser, contemplating Phil and their possible friendship, his own history with friendships - or the lack thereof, and the meaning of the word altogether, for almost twenty minutes. He had to find something quick before Phil got back and asked why he hadn’t chosen a show.

Dan began scrolling quickly as he heard the sound of plates being moved around the kitchen. His stomach rumbled and he grabbed his coffee, sipping it slowly. The thought of food in mind, he went to the genre ‘Cooking Shows’. The third show on the list was ‘The Great British Bake Off’. He’d never heard of the show, but figured it could be fun. Even if it wasn’t, it was a TV show so it wasn’t a huge commitment, and they could change it easily. He set up the first episode and sat back, sipping his Macchiato and waiting for Phil to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic has been kinda bizarre to revisit. I feel like I've jumped back in time xD Still a sucker for those slow burns though :D What are you guys thinking? :)


	6. Chapter 6

Phil returned from the kitchen with Tylenol after just a few minutes. He was also carrying two loaded plates with waffles smothered in syrup and butter. He handed one to Dan and sat down on the other side of the bed. They savored the sticky, fluffy treats, making their way through four episodes of The Great British Bake Off, both of them quickly falling in love with the show. It wasn’t until Dan glanced at the clock and saw it was past 1:00 PM that he realized how much time had passed in what felt like mere minutes.

Phil didn’t seem bothered, however, laughing and shrugging when Dan mentioned it. He zigzagged his way through the equipment on his floor towards the window, pulling the thick black curtain aside to let light in. Dan squinted before his eyes adjusted, and thanked god that the light didn’t hurt. The Tylenol had done its job. He felt so warm and cozy in the bed, and was surprised when he found a part of him hoping Phil wasn’t about to kick him out.

“Well… I don’t know about you… but I don’t think I can wait to see what their next challenge is.” Phil said after a pause, a grin crossing his face, and Dan felt his own smile split his cheeks as he nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, I mean I don’t think I could possibly pay attention to anything else until I’ve seen what happens next.” Dan agreed, but Phil wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying. His gaze was locked somewhere below Dan’s eyes and a bit to the side, the black haired boy’s mouth hanging loose, almost indignantly. After a few seconds with no explanation from Phil, Dan raised his eyebrows. “You okay there?” He asked, chuckling lightly.

“You never told me you have dimples!” Phil practically accused him, and Dan blushed immediately. To be honest, Dan generally forgot he had dimples. Phil’s gaze was trained like a hawk, though, and Dan found himself feeling self-conscious as heat rose up his neck.

"Oh... yeah." Dan responded a bit awkwardly, not entirely knowing what to say.

"Curly hair AND dimples? What other secrets are you keeping from me, Dan?" Phil elbowed him, laughing a bit, but then turned thoughtful. "Actually, come to think of it, I don't know much about you. Are you at University?"

"Yeah, I'm majoring in Law." Phil nodded, eyebrows furrowing together, a bit puzzled, but non-judgemental. "It's alright... I don't know. I'm kind of failing everything. I actually have a big project I was just assigned that could turn around my grade in one of my classes, but it involves socializing, so god knows I'm going to fail that one too." Phil raised an eyebrow at him, creating an expression that said, 'really?'. "What?" Dan asked, protesting his look.

"I mean... I don't think I've ever had an easier time being around someone I just met. I mean yeah I have some friends, and I'm close with my flatmates, but all of that took time. I've never met someone and felt fine inviting them to stay in my room and wear my clothes, and spend an entire _day_ together before. I guess I just figured this is normal to you." At this, Dan burst into full out laughter, showing off his dimples fully now.

"Are you kidding me? I don't think I ever even had a sleepover when I was younger! I've spent more time with you in the past day than I have with anyone all semester!"

"Oh..." was all Phil said to that, turning back to his now cold waffles for a moment. "So what's this big project?"

Dan chuckled a bit at the hopelessness of the task before him. "I have to find a 'mentor'” He rolled his eyes. “Someone different from me, and kind of follow their life I guess. Get involved in trying out their hobbies and what they do day to day, and analyzing the differences in how our brains work. It's for Psychology. I have to keep a log of it somehow, and turn it in to her at the end of Winter Break." Phil nodded, moving a piece of his waffle around his plate, creating swirls in the syrup.

"I mean... you could always do me." He suggested a bit shyly, looking up to Dan to make sure he hadn't said anything wrong. His face fell when Dan laughed right in his face, but soon realized it wasn't because of the idea of Phil being Dan's mentor.

"Oh, I could, could I?" Dan wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, laughing at Phil's word choice. It didn’t take long for Phil to realize his mistake, and he laughed along with Dan, elbowing him.

“Hey, you know what I meant! I mean… I’m not doing much over break. Probably just studying and doing stuff for youtube. I might head home to visit family for a bit, but you could come if you wanted.” Phil offered, and Dan’s eyes widened. Had this guy really just invited him to visit his family with him over break? After just meeting last night? What possibly shocked him more was that his immediate inclination was to accept. He went back and forth for a moment, unsure on whether or not he _should_ say yes, but being surprisingly drawn towards agreeing.

He _did_ want to complete Mrs. Heartwood’s project, though, and he knew he wouldn’t have any plans of his own over break. He wasn’t going to visit family - he’d probably just spend his break in his dorm playing video games and watching youtube alone. He also highly doubted realistically that he’d meet anyone else he’d have any interest in doing this project with, so after a moment’s hesitation, he took a deep breath and agreed.

"Okay, sure. Yeah, thanks." He smiled a bit and Phil grinned back, eyes glimmering.

“Really? Alright!” Phil replied enthusiastically, placing his plate on his end table and turning to Dan, clapping his hands a few times excitedly. “Sow hat does this mean? Where do we start?” Phil’s eyes were wide and open, and his gaze was set decidedly on Dan who wasn’t at all used to this much eye contact, feeling himself shrink a little.

"Um... I guess I have to get to know you? Get to know... how your brain works?" He laughed a bit at how scientific and analytical that sounded, but Phil didn't seem to mind.

“Okay! Well you’ve chosen a good person, because my mind works in ways that even I don’t understand!” Phil giggled and Dan found himself laughing too, lightness bubbling in his chest. “You’ll never find another one like it. I’m an English major, fourth year, and I’m absolutely certain I’ll never do anything with that degree. My favorite animal’s a lion, though corgis are a close second. I make youtube videos, and…” He trailed off, eyes widening as Dan watched an idea come to him. “Oh, I know! We can watch my videos together! There’s no better way to get to know me!” Phil clapped again as he pulled the laptop onto his lap, navigating to his youtube channel.

They spent the next two and a half hours watching tons of Phil’s videos, laughing at them. Some clearly embarrassed Phil, but Dan got him to agree to let him watch, since he ‘ _did_ agree to this project, and I need to get to know all sides - including the cringe!’. Honestly Dan was kind of shocked when that worked, but Phil showed him even the embarrassing videos and Dan couldn’t help but feel warmth flow through him at having someone open themselves up so much to him. He was pretty surprised when between two videos, he glanced down at Phil’s subscriber count, which was was well into the tens of thousands.

"Wow... I had no idea you had so many fans." Dan mused, searching for the next video to watch.

"I don't know why. It's not like I’m all that special, I just tell stories and try to be entertaining online, and people seem to enjoy it."

"I don't think I could ever do that." Dan murmured and Phil turned to him, eyes wide.

"You totally could!" Phil protested, moving the laptop away and turning to fully look at Dan. Dan flicked his eyes over to Phil to see why he was staring at him. All of a sudden, Phil's face shifted, clearly showing that he had just had an idea that he was very excited about. "Wait... Dan... have you ever wanted to make YouTube videos?"

"I mean... yeah I've thought about it of course. I love watching them, and I'd like to do it, but no one would watch. I don't have anything to say, I'm not funny, and I'm way too unmotivated." Dan shrugged the idea off, turning back to the computer, but Phil grabbed his shoulder, turning him back to face the ebony haired boy.

"I know what we're going to do! Not only will you be working on your project with joining me in my hobbies, you'll ALSO already be making a log so you won't have to do any extra work writing things down for your teacher!" Dan's eyebrows furrowed, unsure of his willingness to go along with the boy in front of him. "You're going to be in my videos with me!" Dan opened his mouth in protest for a moment, before thinking through what Phil had just said. It _did_ make a lot of sense… and it wasn’t like Phil was telling him to make his _own_ channel...

"...Are you sure?" questioned Dan. "What if they hate me? Won't that be bad for your channel?" To his surprise, Phil didn't seem to ponder this for a second, laughing immediately at the thought.

"What would they hate? I've only known you for a day, and you're already interesting to me! You're funny, a good talker, and trust me the girls will enjoy the fact that you're easy on the eyes." Dan raised his eyebrows at Phil.

"Oh, are you saying you think I'm attractive?" he teased.

"I'm just saying the girls will like you!" Phil defended.

"You think I'm hot." Dan continued, poking Phil in the ribs and giggling as Phil tried to bat his hands away.

"Do not!" Phil was getting flustered, knocking Dan's hands out of the air as they came to poke his sides.

"Do so!" His pokes got faster, and he grabbed Phil's sides lightly, tickling him.

"Shut up!" Phil laughed, finally grabbing Dan's wrists and holding them away from him. "All I was saying is that people will like you."

"Alright." Dan conceded, and Phil let go of his wrists, hands dropping back to his sides.

"So... what should we do for our first video together?" Phil asked, still a bit red from his previous embarrassment.

"Um... I don't know. Maybe just like a general Q&A? Seems like a good way for them to meet me." Dan suggested.

"Sure! I'll tweet for some of my fans to send in questions for me and 'a mysterious guest'," Phil wiggled his eyebrows at Dan, and then chuckled, "and then we can film tonight or tomorrow morning, and edit tomorrow! That way we'll have it up by the time the school week starts!"

Dan looked at Phil, slightly surprised. Phil was simply expecting that they'd be spending the whole weekend together. Not that he minded - Dan didn't have any other plans, and he supposed part of this 'mentorship' was spending loads of time together. He was just surprised that Phil was so on board with it all.

"Okay, yeah." Dan agreed, and watched Phil send out his tweet. Almost immediately his phone began buzzing incessantly, and he turned it on silent.

"And now we wait!" Phil announced. Dan checked the time on the computer, seeing that it was near 3:00. His stomach was rumbling, as all he had eaten so far today was a stack of waffles.

"Hey, you want to go get some food in the meantime?" Dan offered. He found himself hoping that Phil wanted to come with him. A part of him kept worrying that he was going to suggest they do something together, and Phil would think it was weird, asking why Dan didn't just do it himself. Dan didn't understand why he was feeling that way - he did everything alone generally, and this feeling of... codependence? No... that was too strong a word for this. But something of that sort was entirely new to Dan, and felt alien.

"Yes!" Phil's face lit up, yet again easing Dan's worries. He realized he really needed to stop worrying about Phil being put off by the things he said until it actually happened, as each time he’d been worried so far, he’d ended up utterly wrong. "How's Chinese sound?"

"That sounds perfect." Dan agreed, humming at the thought of chicken glazed with sweet brown sauce and broccoli over rice.

"Take out or sit down?" Phil asked, looking to Dan.

"I mean... any other day I'd say take out, but if we come back here I won't be able to stop worrying about the video and checking twitter. It's not so easy to forget with... well..." he gestured generally to the equipment surrounding them. Phil nodded, understanding, and hopped off the bed.

“Sit down it is, then! Shall we? He asked, grinning as he stood and rushed around the bed, hopping over wires, to hold his hand out dramatically. Dan rolled his eyes and took the boy’s hand, allowing himself to be helped off the bed, and Phil laced his elbow through Dan’s. “Now I shall escort the lady to her restaurant.”

“You’re an idiot.” Dan giggled and Phil shrugged.

“Life’s more fun that way!” Was all he said and Dan grinned before Phil dragged him out into the lounge.

When they moved into the lounge, Dan saw Tyler, Zoe, Alfie, and Louise all raise their eyebrows and look down to Dan and Phil’s arms. Dan quickly pulled his back and away from Phil, blushing and realizing that they all must have the entirely wrong idea of what happened last night.

"Hey guys!" Phil said casually. "We were just about to go out and get some Chinese! Anyone want us to bring something back?"

Silence.

*Click*

Dan's gaze flitted around the entire room, not wanting to meet the eyes of the people watching him, and his eyes ended up resting on the strange clock over his right shoulder.

"Dan, you spent the night?" Louise asked. "And you've been here all this time?"

*Click*

His eyes flicked back to her, and he just nodded in response, quickly shifting his gaze back to the clock.

*Click*

Tyler slowly stood up off the couch, and made his way over to Dan, but his eyes weren't on Dan's face. Tyler's hand reached out, running the material of Dan's collar through his fingers. Dan flinched back a little, but Tyler kept his grip, then removed his hand.

"This is Phil's shirt..." the way Tyler said this left Dan wondering if it was a question or a statement, not knowing if he was supposed to give an answer. Luckily Phil took charge here.

"Yeah, his clothes stunk of all that alcohol last night, so today I gave him a change of clothes so he didn't reek." Tyler nodded slightly, but his eyes continued to flick between the two tall boys in front of him.

"Alright, well if no one wants Kung Pao, then I guess we're on our way!" Phil said, moving towards the door, Dan following behind.

"Wait! Bring me back some egg rolls?" Zoe asked, craning her neck around Alfie to see Phil as she spoke to him.

"Okay yeah, sure! Be back in a bit!" Phil said, and whisked Dan out the door, leaving that uncomfortable situation behind.


	7. Chapter 7

Phil smiled as he took a deep breath, drinking in the fresh morning air. Honestly, he didn’t spend much time outside the house, making the fresh air that much more enjoyable. Today was a good day, and he was in a wonderful mood. He was making his way down the pavement, doing the half-walk, half-skip he always did whenever he was feeling particularly energetic or happy. After a moment he realized he was moving along at quite a clip and glanced next to him, only to realize his friend had fallen behind. He turned, now walking backwards now as he addressed Dan.

"Alright, Dan, if you can't keep up then you're just going to have to be my eyes!" Phil said, sprawling out his arms and legs, and teetering side to side like a drunken starfish while walking backwards. Dan shook his head, smiling.

"If I'm your eyes, Phil, we're both gonna die. Turn around." Dan shuffled his feet a bit faster, catching up with Phil who grinned and spun back around, facing forward once more. "So where's this restaurant?"

"Not far, just about three blocks away. Someone from my house goes there probably at least every other day. We really need to just start shopping for ingredients and cooking... but this is just so easy!" Phil beamed. 

For probably the fifteenth time today, he shoved down the little voice in the back of his head that asked him why he was so comfortable around this boy. Yes, Phil was a generally nice person and got along with people more often than not, but it was usually more in the 'we're in the same space so I feel obliged to have some general polite conversation and then excuse myself after a bit and most likely never speak to you again' way, rather than how he was feeling so far about the boy walking next to him. 

He had only just met this boy, and yet he had essentially just signed over the next month of his life to him. Dan's project sounded like it was going to be fairly intensive, and not only would he be sharing his time during school, he had offered to give up his break. The thought of that out of context immediately made Phil regret everything, mentally hitting himself for making such a stupid decision, but the minute he remembered that it was Dan who he had agreed to spend this time with, all those regrets evaporated. He didn't know why, but not a bone in his body minded the idea of spending all his free time with this boy. In fact, he was genuinely looking forward to it. 

Turning a corner, they found themselves no longer walking through a neighborhood. The buildings changed, and now they were on a commercial street. It was a nice cozy part of town - not too developed, but there were some shops and a few restaurants and boutiques. Phil led Dan down the street and stopped at the corner. 

"We're here!" Phil said proudly, as if to show off to Dan how close he lived to such a wonderful establishment. 

Dan laughed, looking at the little rinky-dink run down looking Chinese restaurant. "I assume it's supposed to be "The Lucky Dragon"? Dan asked, pointing at the sign. About three months ago, the L had fallen off of the sign and they hadn't bothered to replace it yet, so currently the restaurant's name read as "The   ucky Dragon" 

"Yeah it's a bit of a worse title right now... but hey! It adds character!" Phil reached forward, opening the door and hearing the bells ring to alert the staff to new customers. Dan walked through the door after an awkward shuffle of him not being aware the door was being held for him, but eventually they both made their ways into the restaurant, blushing a bit as the woman stood there to greet them chuckled at them. She lead them to a window seat, and they ordered off of the ripped plastic menus. Something about this place just felt cozy, and Phil loved it. 

"Wow... so I assume that's where all the rich students go for their outings?" Dan asked, indicating the restaurant across the street from them. Phil sighed wistfully. He had many times gazed in the windows of that restaurant, admiring the beautiful golden and white room, the romantic lighting with the candles on the tables, and all the couples clearly in love wearing suits and long dresses. 

Phil absolutely loved little run down places like this. As he said to Dan, it had character, and that made it special. However, Phil had always been a sucker for the finer things in life as well. He had always wanted to go to that fancy French restaurant. He almost did go once with Emma. It was a day where he was feeling particularly guilty about their lack of romance, but when he read the prices that idea was quickly discarded. He couldn't remember the exact numbers, but he definitely thought he had seen multiple appetizers priced in the thirties. 

"Yeah..." Phil replied, only half paying attention, mostly daydreaming about what it'd be like to go there with someone he loved. Opening the door for her, pulling out her chair, having a beautiful meal and gallantly taking the check without a second thought. He hoped that one day he could take someone he loved there... he just may have to win the lottery first. And find someone to fall in love with. 

Their food came, and they savored it, arguing about what the best vehicle was in Mario Kart, and which Hayao Miyazaki film was the best. The point of this outing was mostly to kill time, so they did just that. Eventually, Phil asked for two orders of egg rolls to go (he knew that even though only Zoe had asked for them, they would get eaten by everyone), and payed the check in full, ignoring Dan's protests. Sure, maybe he couldn't afford to take a date out to a fancy restaurant, but he could be a bit heroic and impress his new friend by paying for his meal. They stepped out of the restaurant, the bells dinging behind them, and Phil quickly pulled out his phone, reading the time. 4:53. It hadn't been that long, and he wanted to give his followers a bit more time to send in some questions.

"Hey Dan, you want to go through the shops for a bit? We can walk down this street and turn around in like two blocks and go along the other side and back to the house."

"Honestly let's just stay in town until you're sure that all your flatmates are asleep. I do not want a repeat of earlier." Dan joked, and Phil laughed sympathetically.

"I'm sorry about them, they'll get used to you. But if you're hoping to stay out until they're asleep, we're gonna be in town for a while. It's a Saturday night, and people are going to be up for a while." Dan shrugged, obviously not serious about his proposal to stay out ‘til god knows when, and they began walking down the street.

They successfully killed time. They spent about two hours stopping into little Antique shops and getting lost. Phil found a thrift shop selling a box of a hundred bouncy balls for $2, and decided he had to have it. He didn't know what he'd use it for, but he was sure he could make some sort of video using a hundred bouncy balls. They both got lost in a Game Stop, looking through all the latest games, and wishing they had more money. Eventually they made their way most of the way back, and found themselves passing the French Restaurant, which only now did Phil find the name of. 'Amour'. This restaurant was literally called 'love'. 

He found his eyes glued to the inside of the restaurant, admiring it as he always did while passing by. Couples sat inside, and everything anyone did just had an air of class and elegance to it. Phil was engrossed by this restaurant, but just aware enough of his surroundings to notice that Dan, who had been walking a bit in front of him, had stopped and was now looking in the windows. Phil nearly bumped into him, but stopped right before sending them both flying, along with a hundred bouncy balls. Now  _ that _ would have been exciting. He watched Dan for a moment, seeing the wonder on his face as he looked into the restaurant, and understanding that Dan felt the same admiration for this work of art as he did. 

Wordlessly, he turned away from Dan and towards the restaurant, and the two of them stood there in silence for a few moments. Phil had never met anyone in his life who he was so comfortable being in silence with. He always felt he had to fill the gaps, he had to entertain - he guessed this was why he had started YouTube. He felt a constant responsibility to entertain others and make them happy. With Dan, he could just be. And he enjoyed that. After a short bit, the two seemed to decide together that it was time to continue back to the duplex, and turned away from the street, walking back to the flat with full bellies and smiles on their faces.

They entered the house, and Phil saw what he’d learned to expect - the standard at about this time on a Saturday night. It was a bit after seven, and Zoe and Louise were setting everything out for the night. They had snacks, booze, mixers and chasers. They placed the bottles of alcohol behind the snacks - a clear message (mostly for Tyler) that it wasn’t time to break into them yet. They were chatting about that guy Louise kissed, Matt, while on the other side of the room Alfie and Tyler were sat on the couch, eating potato chips and in a heated discussion over who was hotter; Zac Efron or Miley Cyrus.

As Phil walked in, he handed the bag of (now cold) egg rolls to Zoe. "Sorry they're cold, we decided to walk through town a bit after eating." 

"Oh it's alright, dear! I'll just throw them in the microwave. Thank you for bringing them back!" Zoe leaned up and gave Phil a kiss on the cheek, and then turned to Dan. "You're staying again tonight?" she asked.

"Oh well um. I don't know. I think I was going to stay at least for a bit, I don't know if I'll be spending the night..." he said, shooting a glance at Phil. What was he talking about? Phil was his mentor now, and they had a video to attend to! Of course Dan was spending the night! He understood Dan's hesitation to invite himself over, though, when it hadn't been explicitly confirmed. 

"Dan will be staying the night." He confirmed, and Dan gave him a small smile, one of his dimples appearing for a split second. Phil was so jealous of those dimples. He had secretly always loved dimples, and wished he had them himself. He wanted to just reach over and snatch them off of Dan's face, putting them on his own, but unfortunately that wasn't how it worked, and he had not been blessed with such luck as Dan had in the looks department. 

To be honest, Phil had always been pretty insecure about his looks. He tried to be confident, but he just struggled sometimes. Yes, he’d denied it earlier when Dan had accused him of thinking the brunette was hot, but truthfully in an objective way, he did think Dan was quite attractive. His dimples, his dark and thick lashes, the way his entire face lit up when he smiled, and the curls he’d apparently forgotten about. Phil was a bit jealous of his new friend, but he wasn’t going to let that affect their relationship. Whatever insecurities he had were none of Dan’s fault, and he wouldn’t let himself take it out on him.

"So what are you two doing tonight?" Louise asked, smiling over at them.

"Dan's going to be in one of my videos! He needed to find a mentor for a project for class, so I'm his new muse. Or would he be my muse, since he's going to be in my videos...? I don't know." 

"Oh ok, well if you guys would like to join in at any point tonight, we'll be doing the usual! Getting drunk, playing games, and probably watching something."

"Thanks for the offer, Louise, we'll keep it in mind." Phil said, smiling, as he made his way to his bedroom, Dan in tow. He plopped down onto the bed, Dan following suit, and opened up his computer, pulling up Twitter. "And now's the fun part! I'm going to spend an hour or so scrolling through the comments, and writing down my favorites. Once I'm done, you do the same but you can only choose ones below where I've scrolled to, so all your questions are ones I haven't seen. Then, in the video, we'll ask each other the questions we've chosen.”

Dan nodded as Phil pulled out a notepad and a pen, angling the computer so Dan couldn't see, and began writing down the questions that jumped out at him. After a few moments, he could feel Dan's eyes still on him, and he looked up at Dan. "Okay well either you stop watching me and just hang out, or you go out and socialize and leave me to write down my questions.” He grinned.

Dan nodded, apprehensively saying he was going to go out and try to socialize, and asking Phil to come get him when he was done. Phil nodded, a small smirk crossing his face, as he wrote down a submission by AmazingTracy that said 'for the mystery guest: Say your three favorite things about Phil.' The smirk grew on his face as he wondered what Dan would have to say to that.


	8. Chapter 8

Dan slowly walked out of Phil's room, shutting the door behind him. He hated this part, but he knew it was necessary. If Phil was going to be helping him with this project, they'd be spending a lot of time together, and Dan had to accept that Phil had flatmates. It'd be much easier if Dan got to know them better. However that being said, he hadn't done a full personality one-eighty. He walked out into the living room, and took a seat in the armchair. If someone talked to him, he would respond, but this was as much as Dan was going to initiate interaction with these people he still didn't know all that well.

"Dan!" Tyler's voice rang out, and Dan snapped his head up to meet Tyler's gaze. "Who's hotter? Miley or Zac Efron?" They were still talking about this? He guessed it made sense, it _had_ only been about two minutes. He glanced at the clock.

*Click*

"Um... I don't know. They're both pretty attractive I guess."

"Aww come on that's such a cop-out!" Tyler whined, turning back to Alfie. "No one can touch Mr. Efron." He said with a very serious face, to which Alfie put his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, okay, you win."

"You have to say it."

"Zac Efron is hot."

"Uh uh uh...." Tyler held up a finger, indicating that this answer didn't fully satisfy him. Alfie sighed, fully defeated.

"Zac Efron is hotter than Miley Cyrus. You happy?"

"Very!" Tyler's grin spread back across his face. "Louiseeeeee Zoeyyyyyyyyy can we open the whiskey yet?" he was back to whining.

"Fine..." Louise conceded, walking over and handing Tyler a handle of whiskey. He unscrewed the lid and took a shot, his face twisting slightly.

"So Dan... what's your deal?" Tyler asked, passing the bottle to Dan. At first, Dan put up his hand, palm first to Tyler, refusing the bottle, but when Tyler's eyebrows raised as if to ask 'you sure?', Dan decided what the hell. It was the weekend, and he was trying to have new experiences and meet new people. Also, the entire time he had been tipsy the night before, he had been overly aware of his level of inebriation and attempting to remain sober. Tonight part of him just wanted to let go and let the alcohol take him where it took him without his brain getting in the way.

Taking the bottle, Dan tossed it back, swallowing a larger gulp than he had intended. He felt the burn of the alcohol travel down his throat, and the warm sensation travel through his body and up into his head. "What's my deal?" he repeated Tyler's question. "I mean... I'm a Law major..."

"No, not what's your major, bitch!" Tyler stopped him, the term ‘bitch’ somehow sounding endearing rather than insulting coming out of his mouth. The mint-haired boy took the bottle back, downing another shot. He moved fast. "What's your _deal_? You single? Straight? Confused?" Wow. That was certainly not what Dan had expected. He didn't think he had ever heard anyone be so straightforward. It didn't even feel as if Tyler was coming on to him with this question, more like it was a question on an application, and he was being asked to check one of the boxes, or fill in the blank for 'Other'.

Dan took his time to think of how to answer this question, as he didn't really know what his sexuality was. It had been a little over a year now that he had been researching Aromantic and Asexuality, but he was still unsure if that was him or not. Reaching for the bottle from Tyler, he answered the first half of his question, "...Single..." he didn't put much emphasis on this part of the answer, as all his brainpower was still trying to figure out how to answer the second half of the question, when he realized Tyler had given him his answer. He took another gulp of the whiskey before deciding to answer as honestly as he could.

"I guess you could say confused.  Less about the whole boy/girl thing, though, and more about if I like people in general."

"Are you telling me I'm meeting a real life furry?" Tyler's eyes went wide, and Dan almost choked on the third swig of the bottle he took to cope with the fact that he was actually telling someone for the first time ever about all of this. And not even Phil, his new friend, but Tyler, the guy who he still had no idea what to make of.

"God no! No... I just mean. I don't know. Maybe I just haven't found the right person yet, I don't talk to people much so that's possible. I've just never really liked anyone in that way. But I also don't really get one night stands or the idea of 'love at first sight'. I think I could love someone... if I really knew them first. I guess I've just never really known anyone all that well..." Tyler nodded, looking at Dan in a very new way. Almost... approving? As if Tyler had a newfound respect for him. Dan shot back the whiskey again, and handed the bottle to Tyler. God, he had only been out here for under ten minutes, and he was already over four shots in. "How about you?" he asked Tyler, mostly out of courtesy. It wasn't too hard to tell.

"Aw, you know I'm single as a pringle and gay as a unicorn!" Tyler laughed, taking his own third shot. Dan was already further in than Tyler? He seriously had to re-evaluate his decisions. The warmth in his head was getting more and more prominent, and he decided to go get himself a glass of water before the trip to the sink felt too unmanageable. The room only spun a bit, as he stood up, and after a moment of adjustment to his new vertical position, he made his way to the kitchen, getting his cup and filling it from the tap.

Returning to his armchair, he reflected on the huge confession he had just spilled to Tyler. The more he thought about it, though, the more he thought that he really _could_ love someone. He didn't think he was aromantic or asexual, he just thought he probably hadn't gotten to know someone well enough. Dan had always been one to give up before trying something, and only in the past few days had he been attempting to push himself out of his comfort zone.

Hell, just three days ago, Dan would have never felt that he could form a friendship like his with Phil, who was to say that Dan could never fall in love? He didn't know why, but this comparison seemed to be what gave him hope. He always hoped that he could end up finding someone to fall in love with and be happy with, and the thought that he may be incapable of that scared him. Somehow the fact that he now had what felt like a strong friendship with Phil was the proof that Dan felt he needed that he would be able to find love.

"You guys are falling behind, get your asses in here!" Tyler called over to the three in the dining room. Slowly, Dan watched as he saw them all sigh, accepting their fates, and bringing over another bottle, this one gin, and some juice chasers. Louise sat down on the ground next to Dan, holding the gin, and he grabbed it from her, unscrewing the cap, and taking a gulp. He almost gagged. While the whiskey was sweet and nice, going down smoothly, this gin tasted like straight up cleaner. It tasted poisonous. He gagged, scraping his tongue against his teeth to get the taste off, and desperately motioned to Zoe to hand over the lemonade in her hand. She shoved it towards him quickly and he chugged straight from the bottle, relieved to have the poisonous taste out of his mouth for the most part.

The four flatmates made a square on the floor, and began playing a drinking game that Dan decided to opt out of. They passed around the gin, but Dan kept hold of his now half-empty bottle of whiskey that he’d grabbed out of the circle, just taking small sips here and there. He watched for a while, and then got bored, staring at the clock.

*Click*

How long had it been? Wasn't Phil supposed to come get him?

*Click*

Where was Phil? He needed to see Phil. He needed to see Phil right _now_.

*Click*

Dan stood up, and almost immediately went straight back down, but reached down with his free hand and steadied himself on the arm rest of the chair.

*Click*

Slowly, the world around him spinning, Dan made his way back to Phil's room and opened the door.

Phil looked up from his computer and notepad, smiling as he saw Dan. Dan wanted to pinch his little cheeks. They reminded him of chipmunks. They were so cute and round. How had Dan gotten so lucky as to have gotten this amazing boy as a friend? There were thousands of people online who would probably kill to be in Dan's place right now, but Phil was Dan's, and he wasn't going to share him with anybody. Dan slowly made his way over to the bed, teetering a bit, and awkwardly climbed up, putting his bottle on the end table. Phil's expression changed to one of understanding as he saw the bottle, and he shifted, moving the laptop and notepad onto the opposite table and off of the bed.

"Hey, Dan, you feeling alright? You're looking a little flushed, how much have you drank?" Phil asked, brushing some of Dan's hair back and out of his face. Dan leaned his head forward into Phil's hand.

"Six... seven... eight... I dunno. How long wuzzeye gone?"

"About twenty minutes... wow you work fast. How are you feeling, you think you're gonna need to puke?" Dan shook his head, confident that he could hold everything inside his stomach. Phil didn't look so confident and went to the corner of his room, returning with a trashcan and placing it by the side of the bed. "Just in case." he reassured Dan, so as not to wound his pride.

"Mmmmkay. Phil?"

"Yeah?"

"Wha’s your deeeyul?" Dan asked, slurring his words. He was far gone, and he knew the only cure for that. He reached out, grabbing the whiskey bottle, unscrewing it.

"Whoa there sailor, let's give that a break for a bit, okay?" Phil, chuckled, gently removing the bottle from Dan's grasp, and eliciting a weak whine from the brunette.

"Okay fine but you di’nt answer the quesshun." Dan responded, hiccuping.

"What do you mean what's my deal?" Phil asked, quizzically.

"Like... are you single? ‘N gay straight or confyoosd?" Phil's mouth turned upwards at the corner, clearly recognizing the question.

"Well... I'm single... remember I broke up with that girl Emma? And I don't know, I've never liked a guy before, but that's not to say that I couldn't see myself liking a guy. So I don't really know I guess."

"Mmmmm. I chose confused too..." Dan mumbled. "I'm sleepy...."

"Alright, Dan, let's get you some sleep. I'll be right back, okay? If you need to puke, just please aim for the trash can." Phil got up, and left the room. Dan sprawled on his back on the bed. This bed was so comfortable and it smelled _so_ nice. The smell comforted Dan, and he never wanted to leave this safe cocoon. He began thinking again about how lucky he was to be the one out of thousands who actually got to be friends with Phil, and once again felt that jealousy spring up, feeling competitive with Phil's fans.

Phil was his. Sure, he cared about his fans, but Dan was sure that he meant more to Phil than his subscribers. He had to, right? At this moment, Phil returned to the room with a large glass of water, and a bottle of Tylenol. "PHIL!" Dan announced loudly, making the black haired boy jump a bit.

"Yeah, Dan?"

"You're mine, right?"

"What?"

"Like... You care 'bout me right?"

"Yeah... I mean of course I care about you..." Phil looked a little surprised by the questions, cheeks pink, but was also chuckling lightly at his friend's current state.

"Like... I would totally win in a fight with your fans, right?" At this, Phil's chuckles turned into a belly laugh, throwing his head back, with his tongue held between his teeth. Eventually, it subsided, and he was able to get some words out.

"Dan... I don't think you could win a fight with a ladybug right now. Here, sit up for a second?" Phil reached his arm around Dan, helping to prop him up, and Dan leaned into him for support, placing his head on Phil's shoulder. With Phil's assistance, he took two of the Tylenol, and drank half the glass of water with continuous coaxing from Phil. Eventually, it seemed he had satisfied the older boy who turned off the lights, save of course his night light, and helped Dan get under the covers of the bed. They lied there in silence for a moment, and Dan could swear his heartbeat was loud enough that it filled the room.

He felt cold. It wasn’t a surprise to him when he started shivering, and he felt like a magnet was drawing him towards Phil. He _needed_ to be closer to his friend. Rolling over clumsily on the bed, Dan scooted towards Phil who was laying on his back. He didn’t make eye contact with the boy, simply folding into him. He placed his head on Phil’s shoulder and his hand on his chest, intertwining their legs with one another. He could feel Phil’s heartbeat under his hand and felt the pace quicken slightly as he settled in, nearly fast enough to match Dan’s own deafening heartbeat. Suddenly he was terrified that Phil was going to be angry and kick him out. Was he not supposed to be doing this? A small voice in the back of his head was trying to tell him he shouldn’t, but it felt like they were behind a glass wall and whenever he tried to focus on what the voice was saying he’d lose track and have to start again from the beginning. Eventually it was too much effort and the closeness of snuggling up to Phil was too addictive, so he decided to give up on listening to the voice, simply hoping Phil wouldn’t be angry.

Dan felt the older boy take in a deep breath and then let it out slowly, almost a little shakily as he took his free hand that wasn’t wedged between his side and Dan’s body and raised it up, placing it gently atop the hand Dan had resting above Phil’s heart. “Goodnight, Dan.” The older boy whispered.

"G'night, Phil."


	9. Chapter 9

Dan woke with a start, shooting straight up into a sitting position. He knew he didn’t have much time, and it was all going to be out of his control in 3… he shot across the bed to the side left unoccupied last night when he’d wrapped himself around his friend. 2… He swung his legs underneath his body so he was folded over, leaning over the edge of the bed. 1… He reached down, snatching the trash can off the ground and bringing it to his face as the contents of his stomach poured into the bin.

He was faintly aware of Phil stirring next to him, sitting up and moving closer, lifting his hand and rubbing Dan’s back. Pushing the sweaty hair off of Dan’s sticky forehead, and eventually pulling the exhausted boy back onto the bed once there was nothing left in his body to expel, coaxing some water into him and holding him as he shook. He felt horrifyingly weak, embarrassed as Phil held him gently, rocking them back and forth and whispering in Dan’s ear about how everything was gonna be okay and how Phil was right there. He could still feel the effects of intoxication blurring his reality, but suddenly things weren’t rushing past him in a blur, but rather it felt as if time had slowed, and now he was hyper-aware of everything.

He felt Phil’s right arm snake around his back, finding a grip on his waist where his fingers pressed in gently. He felt Phil’s other hand pushing his hair back, then just running his hand through Dan’s hair. He couldn’t explain what felt so absolutely incredible about essentially being pet, but Phil’s fingers dragging through his hair felt heavenly. He felt a spark of electricity shock his spine when he felt Phil’s lips brush gently against his hair, warm air fanning over Dan’s scalp as Phil murmured comfort to Dan in the dark of the night, small puffs of air traveling down to ghost across Dan’s ear, sending shivers throughout his body.

He felt tears on his face and realized he had begun crying. He didn’t know when this had started - or why - but Phil had moved the hand from his hair, and now he was wiping away Dan’s tears, looking into his face with wide, striking blue eyes full of concern. He felt Phil’s hand move from his waist up to the center of his back, making small and gentle circles there.

He felt Phil slowly pulling him backwards, wincing a bit as he shifted from vertical to horizontal and felt his stomach flip a bit, but then they were leaned against the headboards together and he took a deep breath, feeling his stomach settle. Once he felt secure enough in his ability to move, Dan slowly rolled over and Phil pulled him in towards himself, wrapping his arms around the brunette who buried his face in the crook of Phil’s neck and his shoulder, one hand atop his heart. Phil slowly raised a hand up to lay it atop Dan’s like they’d fallen asleep originally last night, however this time he laced his fingers through Dan’s and the brunette felt himself shiver.

He felt all of this, and sank into it, allowing himself to be comforted. He’d never had someone take care of him this way and part of him felt guilty, but he was far too drunk to entertain that part of his mind. Instead he allowed Phil to take care of him, appreciating how sweet and attentive the boy was to everything that Dan needed. He felt the boy’s gaze on him and lifted his head, meeting those beautiful blue eyes with his own. Phil smiled slightly down at him, and Dan frowned when he saw just a touch of sadness on Phil’s features. He quickly realized, though, that Phil was probably just sad that Dan was feeling so awful. Phil was incredible. 

"Thank you" Dan mumbled into Phil's neck, nuzzling himself deeper into the soft, comforting skin of Phil's inner shoulder, neck, and jawline. He nodded his head, working his way as deep into the crook there as possible, then drifted into sleep as he felt Phil's arm around his shoulder, still tracing small circles on his upper arm. 


	10. Chapter 10

Dan’s eyes fluttered open slowly and felt his eyelashes brush against something. He shut them almost immediately, having been so comfortable and not wanting to move, rather preferring going back to that happy place of sleep he’d been in just moments before. However, he was increasingly becoming more and more aware of something being out of the ordinary. His face, usually pressed into a pillow in this type of situation, was now pressed into something softer - smoother - warmer, and slightly sticky. He pulled his head back just slightly to see what this was, and took in the boy he was laying halfway on top of, eyes going wide as bits of the night before came rushing back to him.

He sighed, preparing to get up, but he just couldn’t ignore (somewhat guiltily) that a large part of him wanted to simply act as if he’d never awoken and fall back asleep, comfortably nestled into his friend, still sound asleep. He shook himself out of it after a moment, though. He knew that wasn’t something he was supposed to do, especially sober, and slowly he untangled himself from Phil. The hardest part must have been unlacing their fingers, moving very slowly so as not to wake him, then finally slipping off the bed and into the bathroom. He showered, washing the scent of last night along with some of the ickiness he felt in his body - though he’d been graced with only a very minor hangover today - and ran some toothpaste over his teeth to deal with the lingering taste of bitter alcohol and vomit.

Now he moved to the issue of clothing. His clothes from the night before reeked - well,  _ Phil’s _ clothes that he’d been wearing. Phil was asleep, though, and Dan felt guilty about the thought of rifling through Phil’s drawers to take his clothing without his friend’s permission. He was sure Phil wouldn’t mind, but it still felt invasive and off-limits. After a few moments’ thought, he settled on re-adorning yesterday’s boxers and wrapping his towel around his waist, returning to Phil’s room and sitting atop the duvet, scrolling through tumblr on his phone as he waited for his friend to wake up.

Part of him wanted to think about last night. It felt almost frighteningly good to be curled up next to Phil - to be wrapped in his arms and comforted by him. It’d certainly felt better than it perhaps should have, and Dan knew that he  _ should  _ be trying to think about that and understand why that was. Instead, he decided that last night must be dismissed and forgotten. He’d drank too much and Phil had taken care of him - like any good friend would - and Dan was grateful. That’s all there was to it.

Landing on this decision, Dan began flicking through tumblr before he remembered. The video. He hadn’t gotten around to choosing his set of questions for Phil from the viewers because he’d gotten smashed. Reaching over Phil gently, doing his best not to disturb the sleeping boy, he grabbed Phil’s laptop and notepad off the end table, being sure as not to read what Phil had written down. He flicked to an empty page, settling in and preparing to search.

Dan opened the computer, typing amazinglion into the password bar to unlock the computer. He scrolled down a bit from where Phil had left off in the comments so he knew he wouldn’t be taking down any doubles, and got to work. He ended up spending about forty minutes sifting through comments, trying to pick out the ones he thought would work best for the video. He tried to focus on that instead of giving into the stress and nerves that bubbled up inside of him the moment he began to think about actually being in one of AmazingPhil’s videos online, for his thousands of viewers to see.

Eventually he deemed his selection complete and glanced over at Phil, who was still passed out on the bed. His mouth was hanging slightly open and he looked incredibly innocent - years younger than he actually was. Dan found himself, once again, slightly in awe of how lucky he’d gotten to wind up - entirely by chance - becoming  _ friends _ with someone like Phil. Looking back, he couldn’t believe it’d only been three days. Thinking back over the past few days, Dan remembered Phil waking him up with waffles the day before and stood up, deciding he wanted to do something nice for his friend too.

He was about to leave the room when he remembered he wasn’t anywhere near fully dressed. He sighed in defeat, making his way to Phil’s dresser and hoping the boy wouldn’t mind. He pulled out a pair of black jeans and a blue graphic tee with an image of Mario running across the chest, slipping them on. Once he was acceptably dressed he made his way out to the kitchen, where he was met with Louise. She had her back to him, brewing coffee and scrolling through her phone with a towel on her head. She turned around to lean back against the counter, revealing a muddy green mask covering her features and Dan let out a little giggle, alerting her to his presence as she looked up to see him.

“Dan!” She lit up immediately, her smile splitting her cheeks. “You’ll never guess what happened! Matt asked me out on a date! We’re going out to dinner tonight!” Louise enthused, practically bouncing with excitement. Dan smiled back, happy for this girl who was the reason he’d been thrown into this new life.

“That’s so exciting, Louise! Congrats!” He grinned, looking over to the coffee. “Hey, do you think you may have made enough for two more cups?” He asked, and Louise smiled.

“Of course, Dan! Take whatever you’d like. Bring your man his coffee.” She winked and Dan paled, shaking his head.

“He’s not - we’re not - huh?” He asked, flustered, and Louise chuckled, shaking her head.

“I’m just playing. Of course there’s enough, help yourself.” She offered and Dan relaxed, smiling and nodding gratefully. 

“Do you think there might be anything for me to make us for breakfast?” He asked a moment later, feeling a bit guilty for asking for so much when he didn’t live here - but it was for Phil.

"Sorry, not really actually... We're in desperate need of a grocery trip. We have milk and cereal, though." She suggested, looking guilty. 

"Cereal's great! Thank you." Dan assured, getting a bowl together for himself, and then another for Phil. 

“So… how was your night?” Louise asked, raising her eyebrows a little in a way that made Dan blush. Immediately Dan’s heart began beating faster, nerves rising within him. Why was she looking at him like that? She didn’t know about how Dan and Phil had slept last night - and even if she did, there wasn’t anything wrong with it. They’d just passed out and Dan had been drunk so he’d been a bit more clingy and… He cleared his throat, blushing hard as he looked away, eyes flitting around the room until they landed on the magnetic clock.

*Click*

"You got pretty sloshed, and then just disappeared." She clarified and he let out a breath of relief, nodding.

"Oh right, that. Yeah, I don't know, I guess I like whiskey. I just went back and fell asleep. I woke up once in the night and threw up some, but Phil helped me through it so I was fine."

*Click*

“I’m so glad that you and Phil are getting on so well.” Louise mused. “He has a hard time making real friends, but he seems to really like you. He’s been a lot happier the past few days - thank you.” She smiled warmly and Dan felt his cheeks heat up a bit, unable to help the tug that lifted the corners of his lips into a small, embarrassed smile. He really did want to be a good friend to Phil, and the idea that he might actually be making his friend happier made his heart flutter a bit in his chest.

“I’m glad… I mean I never even thought I’d get to the point of having any fake friends, so this is all new territory to me.” Dan joked, watching Louise pour her coffee then taking it from her to pour two new mugs. He added cream and sugar, trying to replicate the general sugariness and creaminess of a caramel macchiato so Phil would like it. “If I don’t see you before, good luck on your date!” He said as he picked up the food and drinks a bit precariously.

“Thank you!” She grinned, and then he was walking back into Phil’s room. Immediately he saw that Phil hadn’t moved and smiled a bit, walking over to place their breakfast on the end table, moving the whiskey bottle from last night to make room. Once it’d all been put down he climbed back onto the bed, lightly prodding Phil’s shoulder.

“Wake up, sleepyhead, it’s morning.” He spoke softly, watching his friend’s eyes flutter open, revealing those icy blue irises. Dan reached out to get Phil’s coffee mug, holding it out to his friend whose eyes widened with excitement, sitting up straight and taking the mug, lifting it to his lips and taking a long sip punctuated by a satisfied moan.

“Thank you so much.” Phil breathed, his voice coming out a bit scratchy from sleep. He sipped his coffee and Dan handed him his cereal as well and they sat in silence, eating and drinking, for a few minutes. Dan began to notice after a bit that Phil’s eyes kept darting over to him and he looked almost… skittish? Worried? Guilty? Dan wasn’t sure what was happening, he just knew he wanted to ease his friend’s mind if possible.

“You okay, mate?” He asked, turning to face Phil with his eyebrows furrowed together gently in concern.

“Yeah, I’m alright.” Phil shrugged, taking a long sip of his coffee. “Um… are you okay? You had a kind of crazy night last night…” He ventured, indicating the bottle in the room and Dan chuckled, blushing a bit in embarrassment.

“Yeah, I  _ may  _ have had just a few too many. Thank you - for taking care of me. I’m sorry I was such a burden.” He spoke, smiling apologetically. “Oh - and sorry for ruining your trashcan.” He chuckled in embarrassment and Phil nodded slowly, pausing as he seemed to take in what Dan had said.

“Don’t worry about it…” He finally responded. “You had a rough night. Honestly I didn’t think you’d even remember that…” Phil sounded almost wary and Dan glanced up at him questioningly. Why was his friend acting so… strange?

“I mean… yeah, I’d had a bit too much to drink, but I wasn’t at blackout level. I didn’t forget anything…” He trailed off, realizing finally why his friend might be acting so strange. He was probably being hit with the same conflicting feelings Dan had experienced when he’d woken up. Finding that he’d enjoyed their closeness and the comfort of one another the night before, but also having a tiny voice saying it wasn’t what they were supposed to do. Phil had probably thought Dan didn’t remember cuddling up together… and now maybe he felt bad about it? But no… that didn’t make sense… Dan frowned as he tried to piece it all together until it hit him and he realized, sitting back a bit.

Phil hadn’t been drunk. He hadn’t had a drop of alcohol - he’d been entirely sober and Dan had just barged in on him, plastered, and ruining any chance on working on the video they’d planned to make that night. He’d made Phil drop everything to take care of him, then completely thrown himself at his friend, entirely invading his personal space and falling asleep  _ literally  _ on top of him so Phil could do nothing. Add on to it all that he’d woken him up in the middle of the night to throw up everywhere, then laid back down, probably reeking of vomit, right back on top of Phil again… He realized that Phil wasn’t feeling bad for anything. He was probably seething.

At this realization Dan’s gaze dropped, ashamed. Looking down, he only noticed another breach of boundaries he’d made as he saw himself sitting in Phil’s clothes - ones he’d taken himself, not waiting for Phil to offer. God, Dan was lousy. He began wringing his wrists, finally taking a deep breath and looking up at the boy across from him, sure that guilt was written all across his features.

“Oh god, Phil, I’m so sorry.” He spilled out and Phil raised an eyebrow questioningly. “God, you must hate me. I ruined our plans for hte video, and ruined your entire night. Not to mention that I… uh… sorry… drunk me doesn’t have  _ any  _ understanding of personal space. Not that that’s an excuse! Just - oh god, I’m never drinking again. I’m so sorry.”

“Dan.” Phil spoke and he looked up, his gaze meeting Phil’s as he realized he’d been rambling, speaking a million miles a minute.

“Yeah?” He asked weakly, fully expecting Phil to suggest that maybe they weren’t the best pair for the mentorship thing, kindly asking him to leave. He sighed, realizing that not only had he lost out on his one opportunity to actually get this assignment done, he’d lost a friend. He’d  _ finally  _ reached the point of being sure that Phil was his friend, and now he’d screwed that up. Wonderful.

“It’s okay.”  _ What? _ Dan blinked. What did Phil just say? “It’s okay.” Phil repeated, smiling a little. “I didn’t mind taking care of you, and we have all the time in the world to make that video.” He chuckled a bit, cheeks flushing slightly. “And… I mean yeah, I hadn’t been expecting you to be so… touchy… but I didn’t mind. It - oh god, this is gonna sound weird and don’t take this in the wrong way… but it was kind of nice? Just like - I enjoy sleeping in the same bed as someone and it’s been awhile since I have and… I’m gonna stop talking now.” Phil blushed a deep red and Dan felt his own face heat up as well, chuckling a bit.

“Yeah… no… it was. Um… thanks.” Dan mumbled, surprising himself. This certainly wasn’t a normal thing for two boys of their age to do. It should be weird - it should feel wrong, but somehow it felt strangely okay. If he didn’t pay too much mind to it, it didn’t even feel all that awkward. He looked up to Phil who was smiling in relief, shrugging as he took a sip of his coffee.

"It’s what friends are for?" He giggled, taking another sip. "Thank you for breakfast, by the way."

“Of course.” Dan responded warmly, then remembered he actually did have some good news for Phil. “I actually woke up awhile before you, and I went through some of those twitter comments. I’ve got all my questions written down for you, so whenever you’d like to film…” Dan tried to ignore the flock of butterflies that turned his stomach upside down at the thought of filming a video that thousands would watch, shoving it down. He was doing this for his class. And… he was doing this for Phil.

“Really?” Phil asked, his entire demeanor changing into one of excitement. “Okay, let’s do it!” He enthused, hopping out of bed. Wow - Dan hadn’t quite been prepared to film  _ right  _ now, but he supposed there was no reason not to. Phil began setting up and Dan watched in awe as he went through a routine he’d clearly done a thousand times before.

Eventually Phil seemed to deem everything ‘ready’, and looked back at Dan before frowning a little. “As much as I love that shirt on you, it doesn’t really scream ‘Dan’. Also - my viewers will recognize it. I, uh - I know it’s a bit dirty, but would you want to wear that sweater you had on the first day you came here? That way they can see your style.” Phil suggested and Dan nodded, getting up to retrieve his black sweater, pulling it over Phil’s tee. Phil pulled on a yellow and black plaid shirt and they sat down on the floor beside Phil’s bed.

“I hope you don’t mind, by the way, that I borrowed your clothes again. I wasn’t going to, but then I was gonna get us breakfast and I didn’t exactly want to be walking around in boxers.” Dan blushed and Phil shook his head, grinning.

“Of course I don’t mind.” Phil smiled, leaning forward to adjust the camera. “What’s mine is yours.” He grinned, then clicked a button and Dan’s eyes went wide as he realized this was it. They were filming.

At first, Dan felt uncomfortable talking to a camera. It felt very stiff, but soon he relaxed. He realized that if he just looked at Phil while talking to him, rather than trying to talk to a piece of equipment, it felt much more natural. Eventually he felt as if the camera had disappeared entirely, and he was just joking around with his friend.

They filmed for about twenty five minutes, going through all their questions, until Phil read out one of his last questions for Dan.

"Alright Dan, what are your three favorite things about Phil?" 

"Your eyes." the words left Dan's mouth before he even realized he had thought them. Phil raised his eyebrows at Dan, chuckling a bit has his cheeks flushed a rosey pink.

"Wow, Dan, you really had that one ready." He joked and Dan felt his neck heat up, embarrassed as he smiled at the ground.

"Shut up." Dan whined, shoving Phil with his shoulder, his blush intensifying. He didn't know why, but all of a sudden he felt extremely self-conscious. Phil seemed to somehow pick up on this almost immediately, turning and dropping his ‘AmazingPhil’ persona, talking to Dan in a quieter voice that he knew was meant for only him. 

“You don’t have to answer this one if you don’t want. I’ll just edit this part out.” He offered and Dan nodded gratefully, not meeting the other boy’s gaze. Why was he acting so weird? It was a perfectly innocent question. It was his own answer that had been the thing to throw him off. He hadn’t even really consciously realized how much attention he’d paid to Phil’s eyes, and now he felt a bit as if he’d been intruding on his friend in some way.

Phil, thank god, seemed to pay the entire moment no mind, quickly moving on. His nonchalance on the matter helped Dan leave it behind, and soon they were right back into their previous banter, laughing and genuinely enjoying themselves. Eventually they were out of questions and Dan smiled, feeling overwhelmed. “This is the most fun I’ve ever ha-oh!” He exclaimed as he was suddenly hit from the side. He fell backwards as Phil tackled him, pinning him down and Dan laughed, looking up at his friend.

“Me too.” Phil beamed down at him. “You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” He spoke a bit more quietly and Dan’s eyes widened, sucking in a sharp breath. Had this boy - who had only known him for a few days - just called Dan his best friend? That was impossible. And yet, if you’d told Dan of a week ago that he’d be sitting in a boy’s room which he’d barely left in three days, filming a video to upload to thousands, pinned under said boy and giggling uncontrollably, he probably would have said that  _ this  _ was impossible. He didn’t know exactly what to say in response to Phil, so instead he just reached up, pulling Phil down into a hug. They stayed this way for a few moments before finally taking deep breaths and sitting back up, adjusting their hair as they disconnected. Dan smiled, realizing he’d really been telling the truth - this  _ was  _ the most fun Dan had ever had.

The outtro was filmed quickly, and the rest of their day was spent editing. They took short breaks for snacks, and at about 8:00 PM they decided they were both satisfied with the video they’d come up with. Phil let Dan be the one to click the upload button and then they turned to face each other, just as a horrible realization hit Dan.

“Shit! Tomorrow’s Monday! I have school.” Dan groaned, realizing he was going to have to make the trek back to his dorm that he hadn’t seen in days, and that tomorrow he was going to have to return to classes - none of which he’d done his homework for.

“Yeah…” Phil agreed, a hint of sadness crossing his face. “Well, what time does your last class end?” 

They spent the next half hour working out their class schedules throughout the week, deciding Phil would come meet with Dan and Mrs. Heartwood on Tuesday at 2:00 PM so long as she was free then, and that they’d be spending every day together once their classes got out. With anyone else this would seem entirely overwhelming to Dan, but with Phil he couldn’t wait. He loved the fact, actually, that there was never a question of ‘should we hang out after classes that day?’, and rather it was just assumed, the question instead being, ‘what time should I meet you after your class?’. There seemed to be a mutual understanding between the two. They were both happier when they were together, and Dan was struck, once again, with how lucky he was to have met Phil.

Eventually Dan got up, collecting his various things from Phil’s room. Phil walked him to the front door, making sure Dan knew how to get back to his dorm building. Phil had offered to walk him back several times but Dan refused, not wanting to inconvenience him. It wasn’t until he was almost out the door that Dan realized.

"Wait, Phil?" He giggled, laughing at them both for forgetting something so obvious.

"Yeah?" Phil asked, and Dan reached into his pocket to pull out his phone.

"I don't have your number." They had been together ever since they met, so phones weren't all that necessary, but now that Dan was separating from Phil, he definitely wanted a way to talk to his best friend. Phil laughed at this, plugging his number into Dan's phone, as Dan did the same to Phil's. Dan, without thinking, pulled Phil into a tight embrace, before saying a quick goodbye and turning, walking down the street back to his dorms and leaving behind his best friend's house. 

His  _ best friend's _ house.


	11. Chapter 11

The next week passed in a blur. Dan went to his classes each day and immediately after would find Phil, spending the rest of the day playing video games and discussing new ideas for videos. They read comments on the first video and Dan was surprised and flattered when he saw that people had liked him, and they wanted him to return to the channel. They’d had a meeting with Mrs. Heartwood, and she’d been entirely supportive of their partnership. She told Dan that she was impressed with his initiative, and very excited to see how this project went for them. She even subscribed to Phil’s channel, making Phil blush and Dan grin. Every moment of Dan and Phil’s free time was spent together, and Dan was continuously surprised that he never got sick of Phil or wanted time alone - rather, he’d never want it any other way. The feeling of having a best friend - a second half - was so alien to him, but it was lighting his world up with color, and he refused to let himself ruin it by overthinking.

On Friday when school let out, Dan dropped his stuff of at his dorm and made his way into the courtyard to wait for Phil. Today had been a bad day. It was bound to happen - he’d been uncharacteristically happy for a full week - it had to end somewhere. His classes had been awful today, and he was spent. He hated his major, he hated his classes, and he hated his teachers (save Mrs. Heartwood, of course). He had no idea what had led him to choose Law as a major. It’d seemed like a good idea at the time - a responsible decision - but deep down hadn’t Dan always known he’d never want to be a lawyer? He just didn’t know what to do about it. So he did nothing, sulking on a bench instead, scrolling through tumblr on his phone. Why wasn’t Phil here yet? He pulled up his messages, texting Phil.

**_D: where are u_ **

**_D: im in the courtyard_ **

**_D: phiiiilllllllllll im boredddddddddddddddddd_ **

**_P: Hey, sorry Dan, got caught up talking to my teacher after class. Be there in a few! :D_ **

**_D: hurry up slowpoke :D_ **

“BOO!” 

Dan jumped, an embarrassingly high-pitched yelp escaping his throat as he whipped around towards the sound that’d come from right over his shoulder. When he saw it was just his friend standing there, clutching his sides and laughing so hard no sound was coming out, Dan had a hard time keeping a straight face. He tried not to smile but failed, crossing his arms in indignation.

“So… what do you want to do today?” Phil asked after he’d calmed down, moving around the bench Dan was on to sit beside him.

“I dunno…” Dan did feel a bit better now that his friend was here, but he was still just having a down day, and he couldn’t quite keep the bitter taste out of his mouth as his mind continuously pulled back to his future and what to do about his major.

“Well… if you’re up to it, I was hoping that maybe you’d want to come with me into town for a bit. I have to get Tyler’s birthday present.” Phil smiled and Dan’s eyebrows raised.

"Oh right, he said it was this weekend, didn’t he? When is it?"

"Tomorrow. The house is gonna be trashed..." Phil sighed, chuckling, and Dan let out a gentle laugh in agreement.

“Yeah, sure, we can go into town. I’ve got nothing better to do.” Dan agreed, and then they were walking to the bus stop. Boarding the bus, they made their way to the same street where they’d eaten at “The   ucky Dragon” and got off, thanking the driver. At this point Dan was pretty certain Phil had noticed his mood, as he’d been quieter than normal on the bus ride and Phil had been trying harder than normal to make him laugh - making jokes, and talking in silly voices. Dan smiled halfheartedly at his friend’s attempts, appreciative of his efforts, but just unable to quite be happy at the moment.

"So... have you checked the comments on our video recently?" Phil asked, grinning over at Dan as they walked down the pavement.

"No, last time I checked them was Wednesday night." Dan responded, looking down at the cement below his feet.

"Well... seems we have a... bit of a specific following." Phil worded his sentence carefully, and Dan looked up to see his cheeky grin. 

“What do you mean?” Dan asked, watching as Phil pulled his phone out, finding their video and scrolling down into the comments. About three from the top was the first time Dan ever witnessed the word that would soon come to surround his life. ‘Phan’. The comment read;  _ ‘OMG theyre SO cute together!!! Phil when are you gonna introduce him as your bf? I totally ship phan <3’ _

Dan’s eyebrows pulled together as he looked back up at Phil, a question written all over his features. 

“Hey, don’t ask  _ me _ why people do what they do online! I have no idea!” Phil laughed. “There are quite a few like that, though. Seems like people like the idea of us being… well…  _ us. _ ” Phil gave him a suggestive eyebrow wiggle and Dan couldn’t help but burst out laughing, shaking his head in amusement.

“Well if that’s the case, we’ll just have to make a Truth or Dare video! I mean… we’ve gotta give the people what they want, right?” Dan grinned mischievously and Phil nodded, his own smile reflecting Dan’s.

“Sure! We can film it this weekend maybe. It could be tricky with Tyler’s party, but I’m sure we can find time.” Phil agreed. They continued down the street, and Dan stopped when he noticed that Phil had halted a few steps back outside a church. He raised his eyebrows, this being the last place he expected Phil to stop. He’d been to church a few times with his grandma when he was little, but Dan had never considered himself religious. Phil certainly didn’t seem like the religious type, and Dan felt a little strange standing outside a church with him.

“Look at the sign, they’re having a charity sale inside.” Phil pointed and Dan nodded, understanding.

“Oh thank god, I thought you were gonna try and convert me here for a second.” Dan chuckled, elbowing Phil playfully. His friend laughed and shoved him back before they moved to walk in. Dan’s eyebrows raised and he stopped in his tracks as they were cut off by an older woman. She walked past them, glaring as she cut them off. It was clearly intentional and Dan was taken aback as she made her way up the steps. He looked up after a moment to see Phil looking at him with as much surprise on his face as Dan felt and they both shrugged, following her into the building.

When they walked inside they saw a few people milling about, but it was mostly empty. Most of the sale seemed to be clothing on racks organized in the middle of the room, but there were some boxes of jewelry, trinkets, and books littered about the space. They took their time looking through things, and several times Dan felt eyes on him, turning to see that old woman looking at them disapprovingly. 

At one point Phil found a metallic offensively pink dress and held it up to his body, wiggling his eyebrows at Dan and creating his best female model pose. Dan giggled before he heard a tutting from his left and looked over, seeing the woman standing there with her nose in the air, and Dan entirely lost his patience.

“You’ve got a problem?” Dan asked aggressively, turning to fully face her. Her eyes went wide - clearly not having expected to get called out - then put her nose back in the air and huffed, turning away to leaf through some cardigans on a rack. Dan looked over to Phil and shook his head in frustration, but Phil’s expression was twisted into one more of a contemplative smirk. 

Suddenly his friend was walking up to him quickly, discarding the dress back on a rack. He moved so close to Dan that the brunette could feel Phil’s breath on his face, eyes going wide as he asked Phil with his gaze what was happening. Phil looked up pointedly over Dan’s shoulder and he turned to see the woman, who’d returned to staring at them disapprovingly, looking away when she saw Dan turn to meet her gaze.

"Hey Dan... do you trust me?" Phil whispered, biting his lip to hide a daring smile.

"Yeah... why?" Dan whispered back, and he barely had the chance to get the words out of his mouth before Phil took hold of the boy's waist, pulling him close, and attaching his lips to Dan's neck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D :D :D Tell me all your thoughts!!!!


	12. Chapter 12

Dan gasped, sucking in a sharp breath as he felt Phil’s lips press firmly against the skin of his neck. Electricity seemed to course out from that spot and all throughout his body, sending shivers down his spine and making him lean into Phil, feeling unable to hold himself up as his limbs turned to jelly. His neck had always been enormously sensitive and he could feel as Phil grasped his hips to keep him upright, slowly working at his throat, tongue slipping between his lips and drawing hot and wet circles on Dan’s skin. His hands worked at Dan’s hips as the brunette leaned into him, a small whimper escaping his lips that he hoped Phil didn’t hear.

For a moment, Dan was entirely overwhelmed. Of all the places Phil could have chosen, why did it have to be his neck? After that moment passed, however, Dan’s head began to clear and he remembered why they were in this position - why Phil was now sucking hard on the base of his throat, grinning into the skin there. He pried open his eyes to see the old woman unabashedly staring at them, jaw hanging slightly open in shock. She was glaring as if they’d just performed a satanic ritual and sacrificed a puppy in front of her eyes and Dan was fully brought back to the moment, regaining his wits. He decided to go along with it, wrapping his arms around Phil’s neck and pulling them impossibly closer, opening his eyes fully and staring straight back at her. He wiggled his eyebrows and shot her a wink and a smirk, seeming to shake her out of her horrified stupor. Turning up her nose, she spun on her heels and walked to the exit of the church. Only at the very last minute did she turn around to cast one more disapproving glare, and Dan almost giggled as he actually reached up a hand, twiddling his fingers back and forth as he waved goodbye, a cheeky grin on his face.

Once she’d left Dan felt himself fall back into Phil, before he realized his friend wasn’t stopping and tapped his shoulder twice, realizing Phil couldn’t see the woman had left. His friend disconnected his lips from Dan’s neck, making a loud smacking sound with the suction of his release, Dan’s eyes widening slightly as he cleared his throat and tried not to give away how much that had affected him. Phil kept his hands on Dan’s waist, to the brunette’s surprise. He pushed back and held himself there, looking at Dan who just stared back, lips parted slightly. They made eye contact for a long time before both of them simultaneously burst out laughing, curling over themselves as they fell apart, cackling.

“Oh my god, Phil, you should have seen the look on her face!” Dan gasped between his giggles. “Also fuck you - next time don’t go for the neck.” He looked up to see Phil cock a cheeky eyebrow at the phrase ‘next time’ and Dan rolled his eyebrows, shaking his head as he grinned in amusement.

“Okay, explain everything. What’d she do?” Phil asked excitedly and Dan nodded, putting up a finger to give himself a second to catch his breath, laughter finally succeeding. Once he’d caught his breath he explained the whole situation and they both broke back down, tears forming from the sheer amount of laughter. It took them awhile to finally pull it back together, but eventually they made their ways back to looking through the racks of clothing, and Dan looked up when he heard Phil make a small excited exclamation from one rack over. He looked over to see him holding up a hamburger costume with a look of discovery on his face and Dan guffawed, imagining Tyler wearing it.

“It’s perfect!” Phil exclaimed and Dan shrugged - Phil knew the guy better than he did, and if he thought it was perfect, then who was Dan to disagree? They walked to the man at the cash box, paying for the costume and placing it in a bag. They left the church and began walking down the street again, Dan feeling strangely giddy. He had a new hop in his step, and he’d completely forgotten his somber attitude from just an hour earlier. He was with his best friend, and he was happy.

"You hungry?" Phil asked as they walked down the street, looking into shops as they passed.

"Yeah, kind of. What do you want to get?" 

"Well, there's Chinese, pizza, Mexican..." Phil went on to list off ever cuisine known to man and then some, and Dan laughed, stopping him.

"You choose, I don't care." 

"That's the worst answer!" 

"Sorry mate, deal with it." Dan smirked and Phil groaned dramatically, pulling Dan into a sushi bar. They made their way up to the bar and sat on stools, overlooking the conveyor belt that made a circle around the kitchen. Dan watched as plate after plate of delicious looking sushi spun past him, mouth beginning to water. 

They began plucking plates off the belt, eating and laughing. They were both in pretty playful moods and kept accidentally ignoring their waitress, completely unaware through their giggles as she came up behind them at the bar to ask for drink orders or for how things tasted.

Eventually Dan announced that he was going to head to the bathroom, standing up. He was about to leave when he was grabbed by the arm and spun around, eyes going wide as he was stopped in his tracks. He looked back to Phil, puzzled when his friend wasn’t meeting his gaze, but rather looking just a bit under his face.

“Oh no… Dan…” He covered his mouth, giggling slightly, but also seeming a little embarrassed as he finally looked up to meet Dan’s stare.

"What?" He asked indignantly, raising a hand to wipe his chin, wondering if he somehow had rice stuck there or something.

“Uh… take a look in the mirror when you get to the bathroom. I’m sorry?” Phil giggled, grinning as his cheeks turned a deep red.

“Okay?” Dan agreed questioningly, before turning and walking to the bathroom. Once he was there he immediately looked in the mirror, jaw dropping. He saw what Phil had reacted so strongly to the second he saw his reflection, and felt as his neck and face began to heat up. On his neck, far higher than could ever be hidden by a t-shirt, was a  _ gigantic _ purpling welt. It was on the other side from where Phil had been walking after leaving the church and where he’d sat at the bar, so he must have just not seen it until Dan got up. For a moment he looked at his reflection in horror, but quickly took a deep breath, shaking it off. There was nothing he could do about it. He’d always been a pretty logical guy, and he was generally able to accept when something was simply out of his hands. Dan sighed, looking back one last time in the mirror, before going about his business. He washed his hands and returned to his friend, punching him in the arm.

“Ow! Hey, that hurt!” Phil protested, pouting and rubbing his arm.

"You deserved it." Dan rolled his eyes, joking.

“Yeah, but that’s gonna leave a bruise.” Phil whined and Dan just raised his eyebrows slowly.

“Oh yeah.  _ You’re  _ gonna be the one with a bruise? I think I’ve got the short end of the stick here, mate.” Dan raised a hand to indicate his neck and Phil blushed, clearly trying to fight a smile.

"I guess that's fair.” He chuckled, embarrassment seeping into his tone. “We can stop on our way back and get you a scarf. I’ll buy." He offered, and Dan nodded in agreement.

"Hey Phil? Am I staying at your house tonight?" He asked after sitting back down and eating another roll.

"I was sort of hoping you would, yeah." Phil grinned and Dan smiled back, a bit of relief making his shoulders relax where he hadn’t even known they’d been tense.

"Alright, well then I'm getting a toothbrush. Last weekend was disgusting. You mind if I continue to borrow your clothes?"

“Of course not!” Phil grinned. Dan realized he was grinning too, and looked down, laughing at himself a little. He actually had a friend he was close enough to that he was buying a  _ toothbrush  _ to keep at his house. Though… he supposed having a friend who gave him hickies to piss off homophobic assholes might be a larger testament to their bond. Moods light, they finished their sushi and made their way back to Phil’s, stopping at a corner store to pick up a toothbrush and a black and grey plaid scarf that Phil paid for, wrapping it around Dan’s neck and being sure to cover his mark.

They made their way back, opening up the door to reveal an empty house.

"Huh... everyone must be out somewhere. I guess it  _ is _ Friday night." Phil mused. "Hey, you want to maybe film that Truth or Dare video now?" he asked, and Dan’s heart started beating a little faster at the idea of filming a video  _ right now _ , but he shook it off.

"Sure" He agreed, trying not to show how nervous the idea of filming still made him. "If we're doing this to wind up the people who want us to be together, though, we may as well just post a picture of this." He tugged down on his scarf, revealing the large purple mark, smirking over at Phil. 

“Eh… that  _ may _ be a bit too much, Dan.” Phil laughed and Dan rolled his eyes, nodding as his friend turned, following him into his room, sitting on the bed and watching as Phil set up the cameras.  

“Alright. Well I feel like filming now, so my followers had better be fast today!” He announced, pulling out his computer. He navigated to Twitter and wrote out;  _ ‘Alright guys, I’m doing a Truth or Dare video with Dan! Send in your truths/dares now! :D ;)’  _ Dan laughed lightly after reading it, shaking his head at the winky face, but approving the tweet, and then Phil posted it, laying back on his bed where Dan followed, staring up at the ceiling.

"That sushi was so good." Dan murmured, bringing his hands down to gently cup his fully belly.

"Hey Dan?" Phil asked, turning his head and looking over at Dan a little warily.

"Yeah?"

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want... but what was up earlier? You seemed kind of… off."

“Oh. I don’t know… Uh… I think I might drop out.” 

The second the words escaped his lips he sat up straight, eyes wide. Had he really just said that? He hadn’t even thought about dropping out before this very moment. He couldn’t just drop out! What was he saying?

“Oh.” Was all Phil said, his tone matter-of-fact without the least hint of surprise and Dan turned, eyes wide.

"Oh?"

“I don’t know. It kinda makes sense. You don’t seem very happy at school, and to be honest, I’d expect to see pigs fly before I see you as a lawyer. I don’t know - I guess I don’t think you really need University.” Dan’s eyes widened as he listened to Phil speak so calmly about him dropping out. “And I mean - if you need a place to stay, you’re always welcome to stay with me. I’ve actually been thinking about trying to get my own flat next year. Youtube’s picking up, and I think I might actually be starting to make decent money from it. And I mean - as much as I love my flatmates, we’re really different people.” Phil shrugged and Dan felt as if his eyes were going to pop out of his skull, staring back at his friend who was still just looking up at the ceiling calmly.

“Oh… okay.” Was all he was finally able to squeak out. Had Phil really just invited him to  _ move in _ with him? As much as he felt comfortable around him, they’d only known each other for - what - a week? Nevertheless, he couldn’t help the rush of excitement that sparked through him at the thought of living with Phil. Of not having to worry about University, instead just making videos together and living with his best friend - the boy who was honestly changing his entire outlook on life.

Dan didn’t like to delve into the past often, but thinking about how much Phil had changed him, he couldn’t help but remember who he was before. Growing up…. Well, his mum had tried. His dad left too early for Dan to remember him, and his mum was always working to try and keep them afloat. He hated looking back and realizing how much he’d taken for granted - how much he’d resented her for not being around, for not constantly being there and up-to-date with his life. It wasn’t her fault - they were dirt broke and she was just trying to keep food on the table. He could see now that she’d been doing all she could, but back then he just thought she was neglectful.

He still remembered his lowest moment as if it were yesterday. He had no friends at school, he’d been failing his classes, there was barely any food in the house, and his mum had been more on edge than usual. He’d gotten his report card and his mum hadn’t yelled. She hadn’t exploded, hadn’t chastized him as he’d been preparing himself for. Instead she’d just sighed and shook her head, tossing it in the recycling. Dan had excused himself and went to his room, crying. Did she really care about him so little? Now he could see that she just didn’t want to blame him - she understood how hard life was then and didn’t want to make it worse by punishing him for struggling in school. Then, however, he was just furious. His mum couldn’t find it in herself to at least yell at him for some bad grades?  _ Every  _ parent did that, and she couldn’t even get the energy to do that for him? 

He hated looking back on it. He hated remembering finding that razor and thinking  _ ‘This will show her. She’ll HAVE to care about this.’ _ He remembered how much it hurt, and he remembered not being able to hold in a yell as it cut particularly deep - not knowing anything about what he was doing. He remembered how terrified she was when she ran upstairs… but worst of all, he remembered feeling accomplished. He’d been  _ glad _ to see her so scared. To make her so upset. He’d thought that was a success - it meant she cared about him. He could see now that she always had, and he’d only pushed her harder. 

He remembered with sickening clarity hearing her crying nightly after that - he remembered the boyfriend she got - telling Dan that maybe with someone else around they’d be able to live more comfortably - to do more things together. He’d really thought that his little plan had worked. He remembered when she’d stayed with that boyfriend even when things had turned bad. 

That was when Dan realized that she’d always cared. It’s when his eyes had opened and he’d seen  _ everything _ . Getting that man out of their house wasn’t easy, but he remembered holding her in his arms, her crying in front of him - something she’d never done other than  _ that  _ night, as she apologized to him for everything under the sun. He was just glad that his mum was safe.

Life had improved after that - not all at once, but slowly. Still, though, something about it had stuck with Dan. He’d never had many friends, but now he isolated completely. He’d felt numb. It got more and more every day like he was watching himself trudge through life rather than actually experiencing it himself. He’d tried so hard - now he could see how much his mum cared and he wanted nothing more than to be better - to be happy for her if not for himself… but he just couldn’t.

That was, until he met Phil. Somehow this boy had added a ray of light to his life, and he was no longer just an observer. He was living. 

Shaking himself out of his memories, Dan looked over to see Phil jotting down suggestions from comments that he thought would be good for their video. All at once he realized just how much Phil had helped him in such a short time and scooted over, pulling Phil away from the computer and wrapping him in a tight embrace. Phil seemed surprised at first, tensing a bit, but he was quick to relax into the hug, wrapping his arms around Dan in response and stroking his back slowly, squeezing him back.

The hug lasted a long time and Dan was grateful that Phil didn’t ask him why he’d sprung himself on his friend, rather just being there for him. Finally he pulled away, looking Phil straight in the eyes. “Thank you.” He whispered. “For everything. You’re my best friend and… just thank you.” 

Phil smiled, reaching up to push his hair to the side, and giving Dan a warm look that made him relax, thoughts of his past disappearing from his mind.

“Of course, Dan. You’re my best friend too.” Phil responded and Dan smiled, turning back to face the computer and watching Phil take down the rest of the comments until he decided his was done, placing the slips into a hat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an interesting chapter to rework - in the original I'd had your classic 'Dan has a neglectful mum who's always working and an alcoholic father who one day takes it too far and dan attempts suicide'.   
> In this rework I didn't want to keep something so cliched and overused, but I still thought the general themes were important to give context as to some of Dan's personality traits/behaviors. I ended up coming up with this - something that's similar in many ways, yes, but I don't feel is seen in as many of fanfics and I think humanizes his mum more and makes her a character rather than a stereotype.   
> Anywho, I hope you all liked it, this was the first real bigger plot-level change of the fic (still not a huge one, but yeah).   
> I'll stop talking xD Let me know your thoughts! :) 
> 
> Also  
> Dannyboy's got a hickey that'll be hard to hide ;)


	13. Chapter 13

“Alright Dan, you ready for this dare?” Phil asked, eyes widening after reading his slip of paper, still recovering from a laughing fit from the one before. They’d been filming for nearly an hour now, and were getting ready to wrap it up. It’d been a wild ride, and Dan knew the viewers were gonna eat it up. 

“For this one we’re gonna need a prop!” Phil announced, shooting up and climbing off the bed, leaving Dan alone. He took this time to compose himself, wiping a stray tear from the corner of his eye - it’d been one of many that’d appeared when he’d laughed so hard that he’d began choking on air, and he began breathing slowly as he tried to get himself together to do the last dare of the video.

He was amazed at how much fun he had filming with Phil. He loved it. Their friendship was already filled with some top-notch bants, and that was only heightened when they filmed. The chance to share this friendship that Dan was so excited about with the world made him inexplicably proud. He was getting a chance to flaunt how close they were - proving to himself in a way that he had finally done it. He’d finally opened up and let someone in, and he  _ was  _ able to have a best friend. 

Dan sat back with a smile on his face, and Phil returned quickly. He was holding a jar of honey and a butter knife and Dan’s eyes widened immediately in anticipation. Phil clambered onto the bed and moved towards the camera, smirking into the lens, digging the slip of paper with the dare on it out of his pocket.

“Lick honey off Phil’s cheek.” Phil read, looking up to Dan and cocking an eyebrow, smirking as he sat back, the challenge clear in his eyes. Well, Dan wasn’t one to back down, so when Phil dipped the knife into the honey and raised it to spread from his cheekbone to jawline, Dan went right in. He grabbed Phil’s neck and jaw, holding him in place as he licked a thick and warm line up his friend’s face. Phil sucked in a breath and then let out a small giggle and Dan couldn’t help but join, turning back to look at the cameras, rolling his eyes and shaking his head fondly. He looked back at Phil who still had honey all over his face and contemplated how to proceed. Once he had his plan he turned back to the camera and shot the audience a wink before tackling Phil down to the bed, lapping up all the sugar-sweet honey in fast and small licks. 

Phil was belly laughing now, squirming as if he were being tickled, but Dan was determined to complete this dare. He held Phil down, getting every bit of the sticky substance off his friend’s face before he finally sat back and let Phil sit up, looking flushed, with his hair sticking up in every direction.

“Well that was a ride!” Phil exclaimed, chuckling a little at himself, cheeks bright red. “If you enjoyed, please give us a thumbs up…”

“Thumb us!” Dan interjected before looking down, eyebrows furrowing dramatically at what other implications that phrase could have.

“And please click that little subscribe button if you want to see the next video I upload! If you want to see more of Dannyboy here…” Dan wrinkled his face in disgust at the nickname and Phil chuckled lightly. “...Just let us know in the comments! Press the thumbs up if you’d like to see another truth or dare video!” Phil began leaning forward and both boys said a goodbye in unison as Phil covered the lens with his hands, then switched off the camera. He sat back down, wiping his cheek off and Dan grinned, laying back on the bed, exhausted.

After a few moments of silence, letting the air settle in the wake of filming, the boys sat up and pulled out the computer, deciding to watch Friends. They ended up watching four and a half episodes before Dan couldn’t help but yawn and shuffle down further on the bed, Phil following his lead. It was early, but tomorrow was Tyler’s birthday and they knew they might need their rest, so they turned off the show and dragged themselves out of bed to brush their teeth. Dan still couldn’t quite believe he owned a toothbrush for another person’s house and he grinned around the plastic. They fell into bed unceremoniously moments later, clicking off lamps and settling down into the covers. As Dan closed his eyes and began to will sleep to arrive, he couldn’t help but think of how cold he was and remember the last time he’d slept here - wrapped around Phil, warm from the heat of both their bodies combined. The thought made his muscles relax and he let out a small, contented sigh, bidding consciousness goodbye for the night.

“My boys today is a  _ big _ day, it’s time to get up!” 

Dan woke suddenly to Tyler’s high-pitched voice, blinking as his vision adjusted to the light, seeing the minty haired boy standing in the doorway. He was dressed in a light blue button up, a dark teal bowtie, and clean black jeans. Dan had to fight the urge to complain and ask for five more minutes, remembering that today was Tyler’s birthday. 

“Happy birthday.” He mumbled, voice still scratchy from sleep. He heard his phrase echoed from behind him and looked over to see Phil rubbing his eyes, pushing himself up to sit in the bed, arms stretching out as he yawned.

"What's the plan, Tyler?" The black haired boy asked groggily, lifting a wrist to wipe a little dried drool from the corner of his mouth.

"It's a surprise! Dress nice!" Tyler called back, skipping out of the room with a wink. 

"Isn't the birthday boy supposed to be the one  _ getting _ surprised, not planning it?" Dan grumbled, earning himself a chuckle from the boy beside him. 

“Not  _ this  _ birthday boy.” Phil smiled, getting up fully and making his way across the room. Dan’s eyes widened and he barely got his hands up in time to catch the clothes being thrown at him, looking at them in surprise before glancing back up at Phil, a question clear in his gaze.

“ _ Really _ ?” He asked regretfully, holding up the long-sleeve white button up, black tie, and slacks that had been tossed his direction.

“Oh that’s not even all of it.” Phil chuckled, and Dan’s eyebrows raised even higher as a suit jacket came flying at him. 

“Why do you have two of these?” Dan asked as he forced himself out from under the covers, stretching his legs as he stood from the bed.

“One of my cousins got married a few years back, and I was a groomsman. Apparently my mum and dad forgot to coordinate, and they both bought me a suit for it. Apparently the return policies were weird or something, so we just decided I’d keep both - maybe someday one will get messed up or start to fit weird - who knows. So today we get to match.” Phil grinned, holding up his own near-identical attire. Dan sighed and shrugged - he’d never been one to feel comfortable wearing fancy clothes. Come to think of it, he hadn’t actually even worn a proper suit - but he could deal for today.

The boys changed (Dan was incredibly relieved to discover that his collar stood up enough from the tie to cover his hickey), and made their way out to the lounge. Dan let out a sigh of relief upon entering to see that compared to the others, he and Phil were not overdressed. Tyler was stood in the center of the room beside Zoe and Alfie. Zoe stood in a stunning floor-length teal gown, and Alfie wore a suit with a tie to match her dress. Louise was in a beautiful pink dress with a thick white belt and a large bow in her hair, and on her arm was a man in a suit who Dan could only assume was the famous Matt. His suspicions were confirmed shortly upon introductions, shaking the man’s hand before they all stood, wondering what came next. It was incredibly early and Dan glanced at the clock, wondering what could require such an early start.

*Click*

Everyone looked over to Tyler expectantly, waiting on further instructions.

*Click*

“Alright, everybody! Let’s do this!” Tyler grinned, giving no further explanation, but simply turning on his heels and leaving the building. The rest followed him like ducklings, waddling out of the house with no clue what they were in for. 

It was surprisingly sunny out for the beginning of December. It almost felt like the weather had decided to do a 180 and give Tyler a day of summer for his birthday.

The groups’ eyes widened as one by one they noticed the limo at the end of the lawn. They all turned to Tyler in awe, jaws dropped as he put up his hands, a grin on his face. 

“I know, I know. I’m amazing. Now would y’all relax? Let’s make this a day one to remember! I’m twenty one!” Tyler cheered and everyone else murmured enthusiasm before Tyler stopped and rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically. 

“Okay, okay, I get it. You Brits don’t get it - I know it’s not as big a milestone here, but twenty one’s kinda a big deal where I come from!” He explained and everyone nodded, understanding washing over the group. The limo driver had now gotten out and was holding the door open and people began clambering in. Dan wedged himself into the corner, shoved up close next to Phil. Soon Tyler had pulled out a bottle of champagne and was filling glasses, passing them out until everyone was holding a glass of bubbly. “A toast.” Tyler announced, holding up his own glass. “To us.” Everyone clinked their glasses, and  _ damn  _ that champagne was good.

They drove for about an hour, no one knowing exactly where they were headed. Eventually Zoe voiced the question everyone had been thinking, taking a sip of her champagne before addressing Tyler. “So… how did you get the money for all of this?”

“Well…” Tyler started, a gleam in his eyes. “So y’all know how my mom has a  _ tenny weeny  _ problem with scratch tickets? Well… that problem paid off. Like…  _ REALLY _ paid off. She sent me a check about a week ago and told me to have the best birthday I could manage. So I guess we need another toast! To my mom!” Everyone clinked glasses again and soon the limo was pulling off the highway and into a parking lot at a marina, everyone getting out and looking around, curious as to where their adventure would lead next. 

“Now if y’all thought the limo was fancy…” Tyler smirked, leading the group down the dock. He finally stopped in front of a boat, a man in white shorts and a light blue pinstriped tee greeting him as he approached, clarifying that Tyler was, in fact, Tyler. When he was assured that this was the boy he’d been waiting for, the man stepped aside, gesturing for the group to board the yacht. The  _ yacht. _


	14. Chapter 14

Dan turned to look at Phil, eyes wide, a small smile quirking at the corner of his mouth. He saw his expression mirrored as Phil looked back, and they both turned back to the yacht in wonder. It was shiny and clean - bright white as it rested atop the glittering blue sea. A boy about their age with shaggy curling hair and reflective sunglasses stood at the entrance, holding a tray with chocolate dipped strawberries. The group stepped onto the boat, each taking a strawberry as they passed the boy with the tray, taking in the magnificence surrounding them in silent wonder.

“Well? Are y’all gonna just sit there in silence, or are you gonna say ‘Thank you, Tyler’ and enjoy the fact that I got us a  _ fucking yacht? _ ” Tyler questioned and the group broke into laughter, murmuring their thanks as they walked to the front of the boat. The engine started up slowly, purring softly below them.

“Alright Tyler, not to sound ungrateful, but all I’ve eaten today was that one strawberry. Are we getting some food?” Louise asked and Dan nodded, already feeling a bit uneven due to the lack of food combined with the two glasses of champagne he’d had in the limo.

As if on cue, the curly haired boy from before stepped out from the cabin, calling the group over to a lounge section of the boat. It held cushions and armchairs, a large table standing in the middle. Dan made his way to a small couch, settling in beside Phil. The boy had disappeared back inside the cabin and now he returned, this time carrying two trays. He set them down on the table, uncovering them to reveal a decadent surf and turf dinner cut into dainty slices so that it could be shared easily. The boy continued to go back to the cabin and return with trays until the table was filled with salads, fruits, side dishes, slices of rich and creamy chocolate cake, and more champagne.

Dan felt as if he was in a daze. The nicest place he’d ever been had probably been an upscale Thai restaurant his mum had sprung for on his birthday one year, spending her Christmas bonus to allow them to splurge. This, however, was something out of a movie. Once again he looked over at Phil, wonder gleaming in his eyes, and Phil looked back, excitement glittering his own. They both immediately burst into laughter, entirely in shock about the whole scenario.

The rest of the day was a blur. They sailed out into the beautifully calm ocean, floating above the bright blue water. They sipped expensive alcohol and tossed grapes at each other, trying to catch them in their mouths. Dan couldn’t help but giggle as he watched Tyler make attempt after attempt at flirting with the curly haired boy working on the boat, seemingly entirely unaware of the longing glances the boy kept sending Zoe’s way. Dan - unsurprisingly - decided to stick by Phil’s side the whole time. It helped ease his nerves about being in a situation where he couldn’t exactly escape to isolate himself if he needed, surrounded by people he didn’t know all that well. With Phil by his side, however, it seemed somehow more manageable.

Eventually the sun began to set, and after eating a delicious dinner and singing happy birthday to Tyler as the boy brought him out a three tiered cake (seriously - was this a wedding?), they made their way back to the dock, into the limo, and started towards home. Inside the limo Tyler pulled out some new bottles and Dan groaned softly, chest deflating. They’d already been sipping champagne all day, leaving them all varying levels of tipsy, but now Tyler was bringing out the strong stuff.

From his bag, the mint-haired boy pulled out a bottle of bourbon, one of vodka, and another of whiskey. Dan’s eyes widened in apprehension - but it  _ was _ Tyler’s birthday… if he wanted a real party… well, Dan made a mental promise to himself that he’d make  _ sure _ he took painkillers before going to bed tonight.

By the end of the ride they were all sloshed, stumbling back into the house on wobbly legs. Dan and Phil plopped down on the couch together, leaning towards each other, supported by the other’s weight.

“Hold on!” Phil announced suddenly and everyone froze, giggling slightly. Phil jumped up and stumbled for a second before regaining his balance, disappearing into his room and re-emerging with the bag from the church. He thrust it at Tyler with a slurred, “Huppy Burfday”.

“Thank you, Philly!” Tyler exclaimed, and before anyone else could catch up with what was happening, he’d pulled Phil towards him, landing a sloppy kiss directly on Phil’s mouth. Dan watched as Phil’s eyes widened, his own stomach feeling as if it’d emptied all at once and hopped up three inches in his body. He looked away immediately, clenching his jaw. He just felt awkward looking at two people kissing. It was an intrusive thing to do. That’s the only reason his fingers were suddenly gripping his own forearms too hard, teeth grating together, feeling suddenly drastically more sober. Phil pulled away immediately and Tyler mumbled a startled apology, immediately getting distracted by a sudden apparent need to stumble over to Louise and Matt and pinch their cheeks. Phil returned to the couch with Dan, falling into the sofa crease, cheeks burning a deep raspberry red.

"Well that was unexpected." He chuckled breathily, looking down.

"Yeah." Dan replied, and he surprised himself at how short he sounded.

"Daaaaaan... you're such a good friend." Phil drawled after a short silence and Dan bit his cheek, still feeling entirely wrong but unable to explain why.

"Mmhm." Dan responded. Why was he being so short with his friend? He knew deep down that it was silly, but his drunkenness took over and he snapped at Phil. "Get away from me, your breath reeks."

Phil leaned away from him immediately, hurt registering on his face. Dan looked up at him, and all the anger washed away, flooded over immediately by apology.

"'M sorry, Phil. You're a good friend too." He smiled, entirely sincere. That seemed to be all Phil needed as he slumped down, laying in Dan's lap and turning to his back to look up into the boy's face. Dan beamed back down, watching Phil’s expression shift to one of wonder, stormy blue eyes going wide, his lips parting gently.

“I want your dimples.” Phil finally murmured, reaching a finger up to poke one of Dan’s dimples, giggling a bit as his finger pressed into the squishy side of Dan’s cheek. He then got a mischievous look in his eyes, lowering his finger to press hard into the side of Dan’s neck, right where he knew the hickey would be. Dan yelped, smacking Phil’s hand away, laughing as his cheeks heated up.

"Phil?" Dan asked after a moment of silence, falling back against the couch and looking up to the ceiling. 

"Yeah mate?"

"I want to move in with you next year."

"Okay."

Dan smiled, his gaze shifting the clock. 

*Click*

He looked back down at Phil.

*Click*

Now is one of those moments. The moments where time doesn’t feel real. Where it both feels as if it has stopped, but also as if everything’s slipping by in a flash.

*Click* 

Dan looked down at his friend, running his fingers through Phil’s soft, jet back hair. He admired his pale skin and his bright blue eyes that were staring straight back into his own.

*Click*

God they were drunk.

*Click*

Dan brushed Phil’s hair off his forehead gently, smiling as it stayed up in a quiff. He leg his hand trace down the side of Phil’s forehead, tuck hair behind his ear, then move down to cup his jaw gently. He stared into those icy blue eyes, a question in his own, not knowing exactly what his plan was.

*Click*

Phil just looked back up at him, expression soft and open.

*Click*

Dan very slowly began to lean down, the questioning look remaining in his eyes.

*Click*

Just then, Tyler stumbled over, hopping onto the couch next to them. The boys’ eye contact broke after what had felt like minutes of intense staring, a shell around them shattered, the voices in the room suddenly sounding loud again while before they’d faded away without the boys even noticing. Phil bent his knees to allow Tyler room and the rest of the group stumbled over, plopping down on the ground and in chairs in a circle.

“Whoa there loverboys, get a room!” Tyler cackled and Dan’s face went red as he helped Phil back up into a seated position beside him. He avoided eye contact with anyone in the room, choosing instead to stare up at the clock.

*Click*

“I… I think I need sleep.” Dan announced a little too loudly, standing up and almost immediately falling back on his bum. He righted himself as Phil stood with him, putting his arm around Dan’s waist to keep them both upright.

*Click*

They walked this way to Phil’s room, leaning on one another for support. When they closed the door behind him Dan began tugging at his necktie, but it was only seeming to make the knot tighter.

“Phiiiiillll…” Dan whined, grinning in victory as Phil bumbled his way over to Dan. His hands came up for Dan’s tie but he staggered a little as he got closer, his hands falling against his shoulders instead in an effort to catch himself. Dan stumbled a few steps back from the push, ending up with his back pressed to the closed door. His feet were still a bit in front of him, having fallen back into the door. Phil walked between them, now standing a few inches above Dan, making the brunette have to look up to see his friend’s eyes. Phil moved his hands from Dan’s shoulders to his tie, and Dan gulped when he realized how close they were, stepping back and upright, not realizing that this would only make him move back up to Phil’s level, now looking one another in the eye, only inches away. The eye contact held for a moment before Phil took a step back, looking down with a small blush to his cheeks. He pulled the tie off of Dan and threw it towards his dresser, stepping away entirely.

The boys slowly stripped down to their boxers, holding themselves up on various pieces of furniture to keep them from falling.

They made their way to the bed and collapsed on their backs. Dan looked over to Phil, and Phil looked back at Dan, seeming to reach a mutual understanding and crawling under the duvet together. They laid back on their backs, but this time Phil's arm had somehow made its way around Dan, gripping onto his shoulder lightly. Everywhere that Phil's skin touched Dan's he felt as if his nerves tingled, and his body ached to be closer to Phil - to have more of that electric contact with his friend’s soft, smooth skin. They stayed this way for a bit until Phil decided to turn on his side, moving Dan as well, and now they were spooning. Dan felt Phil's warm breath on the back of his neck, his heartbeat through his spine, and his arm that wasn't under Dan's head drooped around his waist. Dan smiled into the darkness cheeks heating as he appreciated this closeness and warmth, heart beating fast. It took him a surprisingly long time to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may not be an update tomorrow - I'm trying to do these daily but life is kind of insanely busy rn and even just reworking this fic is pretty time consuming. I'll try, though! :D Hope you're enjoying <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright you guys - I'm about to not have internet for about a week and I'm pretty busy in the day or so before I leave, so I'm officially gonna take about a week off. I may be able to stop by and reply to comments now and again during that time - or MAYBE get one more chapter out - but I just wanted to let you guys know I'll be gone for about a week but I'll be back and updates will start again as regularly as I can manage to make them :)

When Dan woke up, he was shocked and relieved to realize he was void of the expected splitting migraine. He knew he’d drank a lot the day before, but that was all he could really recall this early. That was when he felt the body pressed up against him, a slight sheen of sweat having formed throughout the night between the two, sticking them together. It all came flooding back and Dan flushed as his entire body went tense and still. Somehow he and Phil had gotten even closer throughout the night, and now it felt like they were trying to meld into one being. The duvet had been kicked to the foot of the bed, exposing their skin to the air. He was grateful for this, the combination of both their body heats was making him sweat, skin pressed into damp skin nearly everywhere.

Even with all the bare skin contact, the clothed part of Phil’s body was the one he was most aware of. He could clearly feel something hard pressing up into the side of his bum and Dan flushed a deep red. How had he let this happen?  _ It’s okay… _ He thought.  _ We were drunk. He probably doesn’t even remember. If I pretend I’ve been asleep this whole time he can just get up and go deal with it. He doesn’t have to know that I know. _

It seemed like a good idea. That was, until Dan terrifyingly began to notice that his own boxers were tightening, heat beginning to well in his groin. Why was this happening? All he’d been thinking about was trying to seem asleep… and Phil’s cock pressed firmly into his backside. Okay, now he  _ really _ didn’t know what to do.

Realizing that he needed to get out of this situation, Dan slowly began extracting himself from his friend’s grasp, trying desperately not to wake him. Unfortunately today just wasn’t Dan’s day - made clear as the minute he began to move Phil shifted in his sleep, humming right in Dan’s ear, the vibrations rattling his body, and pulling him even closer. Dan’s eyes widened as Phil’s hips shifted and his cock nestled into a fold in Dan’s boxers, getting dangerously close to somewhere it was  _ not  _ supposed to be. He didn’t know what to do. Phil’s arms were wrapped so tightly around him - there was no way he could get out without waking his friend, and his own situation was getting more dire by the second.

He’d just been thinking about how this situation couldn’t  _ possibly  _ get worse when he was made aware of just how wrong he was. The door swung open and Dan’s head snapped up in shock and horror, locking eyes with a startled Louise. She stood in the doorway, mouth agape, and Dan felt his entire body heat up. He couldn’t imagine what she was thinking - here she’d probably thought she’d just walk into her friend’s room, probably to wake them up, and she came in to two practically naked boys spooning, one with a very obvious erection. Oh, and Dan couldn’t forget. He still had a  _ massive  _ hickey on his neck.

“Uh… I… sorry!” She stammered, clearly unsure of how to exit the situation gracefully. There really was no clear solution. “I’ll just…” She spun on her heels, shutting the door loudly. Just loudly enough to wake Phil.  _ Great.  _ Why did the universe have it out for Dan this morning? 

He felt Phil wake slowly, lashes fluttering against the brunette’s hair. About one and a half seconds passed, Dan holding himself stock-still in fear and anticipation. Phil shifted as he woke, and Dan was extremely aware of exactly  _ where  _ Phil was shifting, eyes going wide in horror as his cock gave a small twitch. After a moment Phil froze and Dan shut his eyes quickly, choosing to resort to his original plan and pretend to be asleep. There was nothing he could do, however, to hide the painful embarrassment between his legs and he knew that his entire torso and face was lit up like a christmas tree.

Apparently Phil didn’t know what to do either, seeing as a moment after he froze he slowly began to relax, resuming his previous position. Thankfully Phil adjusted himself slightly, though, backing his hips away just enough that his erection was no longer pressed against Dan’s ass. He could feel his friend’s racing heartbeat through his back, sure that his own could match tempo. They both laid there in uncomfortable silence for what must have been several minutes until Phil finally sighed, whispering a meek and resigned question, breath radiating heat onto Dan’s scalp.

“You’re awake too, aren’t you?” He asked lowly. Should Dan respond? If he didn’t, was it possible that Phil would buy that he was asleep? Probably not, seeing how fast his heart was beating - how tense his body was - how intense his blush felt. They were gonna have to do something sooner or later… and all the skin contact was not helping Dan to calm his nether regions. Might as well just deal with it.

“...Yeah…” Dan finally whispered, guilt burning him like a flame. The two immediately extracted themselves and Dan hesitantly turned to face Phil. He realized immediately what a bad idea that’d been as Phil’s eyes flicked down from his face and towards his groin, Dan crossing his legs in embarrassment. He buried his face in his hands and pulled the sheet from the foot of the bed to cover them. There. Things were much more manageable now that they were separated, and all they could see was from the shoulders up. They sat there for a few moments, awkwardly avoiding eye contact as they searched for what to say.

“Louise saw us.” Dan blurted out and Phil’s face went even redder, if that was possible. “She just… walked in. And then left. Very quickly.”

“I really need to start locking my door.” Phil sighed with a half-hearted laugh. “So… is this gonna make everything really weird between us now, or…?” 

“No! Well… I mean… I don’t want it to, at least. We were both drunk, and… things just… happen sometimes.” He glanced down to indicate what he meant, both boys blushing furiously. “I mean it didn’t mean anything, and we didn’t actually  _ do  _ anything. You’re my best friend - I don’t want things to be awkward.” He was a little impressed with his small speech and he and Phil exchanged a smile. Dan felt himself relax into the bed, relieved to know that no matter how awkward this had been, everything was gonna be okay.

“Good.” Phil let out a relieved sigh and Dan shifted a little, the tension in his abdomen still painfully prominent.

"Uh… Phil?" 

"Mhm?" 

"Can I borrow some clothes? I'm gonna… uh... go get changed." 

"Of course." Phil nodded, raising a hand to gesture in the general direction of his dresser. “What’s mine is yours.”

Dan got up, grateful that Phil kept his face buried in his pillow. The brunette quickly put together an outfit, just grabbing the first things his hand found in each drawer, and then made his way to the door. He peeked out to make sure he could slip into the bathroom with no one noticing, and once he had deemed the coast clear he snuck in, shutting and locking the door quickly behind him. Okay. Everything was okay. He just really,  _ really _ needed to take care of his ever-growing problem so that he could get back to normal life, ignoring that any of this had ever happened. 

Dan stepped out of his single piece of clothing, letting it fall to the ground around his ankles before stepping into the shower. He turned on the faucet, wincing at the splash of cold water, fiddling with the knobs until he’d found the perfect warm temperature. He leaned his back against the wall and allowed his hand to fall down to where it rested, cupping his cock against his stomach. He took a deep breath before beginning to move his hand, tightening his grip and tugging. He alternated tempos, reached another hand down to knead at his balls, but it became clear quickly that despite his efforts, he was getting nowhere.

To be honest, Dan didn’t masturbate that often. In fact it was extremely rare. It was a leading factor in Dan’s suspicion that he may be asexual. He’d always had a hard time getting off to the idea of someone he didn’t have feelings for, but if he didn’t think of anyone it was just as bad. Seeing as he’d never had very strong of feelings for anyone in his life, he’d been stuck. It’d simply never been an alluring thought to him, and never got him anywhere. 

Sighing, Dan sunk further into the wall. He couldn’t just let this one go and wait till it passed - the pain was stabbing now - constricting on his insides, and he  _ needed _ release. He finally bit his lip and picked up the pace, determined to finish this. He shifted his grip, squeezing himself,  _ willing _ the release to come. It didn’t. 

_ Fine. _ He thought.  _ I’ll try to picture someone. Just… a body. A body with no face. That could work? _

He let his eyes fall shut, imagining himself in a dimly lit room - almost like Phil’s room when all the lights had been turned off, save that one dim night light. He pictured himself moving in and out of someone, over and over again. After a few moments he sighed in frustration, hand falling away from himself. It just wasn’t working. 

After a few moments of frustrated breathing, the pain in his groin causing tears to prick at his eyes, Dan finally opened his eyes, only for his gaze to lock onto something in the metal lining of the sliding glass door. It was a reflection of him - he wasn’t looking at himself, though, but rather at the deep purple bruise decorating his throat. He couldn’t help but chuckle slightly as he thought about that moment with Phil - how much satisfaction he’d gotten from pissing off that old homophobic woman. How Phil had pulled him close, pressing his lips firmly against Dan’s neck. How he’d licked the skin there, the drag of his tongue so incredibly warm - almost  _ hot  _ in a deliciously electrifying way. How he’d sucked - bitten down gently, traced circles with his tongue…

Dan’s cock twitched. He looked down in surprise and wonder, but quickly wrapped a hand around it, unwilling to waste this rare opportunity, no matter how confused he was about his body’s sudden interest.

Dan began stroking and the change was immediately clear - he was now having to hold back from thrusting into his hand - worried that he might slip and fall. Everything felt magnified by a hundred as his thoughts immediately snapped back to that day with Phil. To the shudders that had run down his spine at the feeling of Phil’s lips on his neck. He felt a string of precum pulse out of his slit and groaned, rubbing his thumb through it, picking up the pace. He remembered that first night he’d gotten drunk and slept wrapped up around Phil. He remembered last night - on the couch as Phil’s wide,  _ beautiful  _ blue eyes had opened up to him, welcoming him into… something. He still didn’t know, but he wanted to. He remembered falling asleep last night - surrounded by his friend’s warmth, and…

Dan’s head fell back and an embarrassingly loud groan ripped from his throat that he could only hope no one heard over the sound of the running water. The orgasm hit him in waves - pulsing out of him, months of build up making its escape after being trapped since his last successful endeavor. 

It took several moments for Dan to come down, slowly using the water from the shower to wipe any liquid off the glass door and himself.

Oh god. What’d he just done? And  _ why  _ had it worked? 

Dan was too afraid to dwell on these questions, choosing instead to focus on the tasks at hand. He washed up and dressed himself in Phil’s clothes. They smelled distinctly of his friend, and  _ damn  _ that is  _ not  _ what he needed right now. It wasn’t helping in the slightest to get those moments out of his head. To get what he’d just done out of his head. He couldn’t his mind from recounting those moments of closeness - of breathing in Phil and Phil alone. Of reaching that seemingly impossible ecstasy that…

He needed to stop. Sighing, he looked in the mirror and shook his head. After a few moments of breathing and trying to convince himself that everything was normal and he could face Phil as if nothing had happened - because nothing  _ had  _ happened - he walked out and into the kitchen.

Of course it couldn’t be empty. Louise was stood in the middle of the kitchen on her phone. Oh well, Dan was gonna have to get this over with sooner or later. He made the decision to tell the truth, seeing as it was the least incriminating of options. Well… most of the truth, at least. She looked up as he entered the space, immediately flushing, her cheeks painting a bright pink.

“Uh… Dan…” She began.  _ Here it comes.  _  “I mean… we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want. I mean, whatever you and Phil are doing is…”“No, no it’s not like that, Louise.” He cut her off immediately, his own cheeks darkening. “We just got way too drunk and didn’t want to sleep in the tuxes. Once they were off I think we were just too far gone to be bothered to put on pyjamas.” Dan bit his lip, deciding to leave out a bit of the truth. “We fell asleep on separate sides of the bed. I guess somehow during the night we rolled over and ended up cuddling. As for… uh… well, you know that guys just sometimes… wake up like that.” His voice broke a bit just to add to the embarrassment and he wrung his wrists as Louise nodded, seeming to consider before she frowned and looked down from Dan’s eyes.

“What about…” She pointed, indicating the hickey still stained prominently on Dan’s neck.  _ Shit.  _ He’d forgotten to wear his scarf, and it was clear as day above the crew cut of his t-shirt. Sighing, he supposed that telling the truth would be the best plan for this one too, no matter how odd the story may be. She’d never believe it was from some girl, and he couldn’t exactly try and say it was a burn - she’d see right through him. It even had little marks from where Phil’s teeth had bitten into him - there was no pretending that it wasn’t what it was.

“Oh… right. That.” Dan chuckled nervously, raising a hand to cover the mark. “Okay so the other day we were out looking for Tyler’s present. There was this church having a sale so we went in, but there was this old super judgy lady. I guess she thought we were together and she was being… well, she was a real homophobic prick. She glared at us like we were carrying the plague. I guess Phil wanted to mess with her so he just kinda… started kissing my neck and I went along with it just to piss her off. Her reaction was so good that we just kept going until she left - neither of us realized until after that he’d left a mark.” Dan felt his entire back, neck, chest, and face light up - not because of that memory, but because of what he’d just done while recalling that memory in the shower. He tried to shove those away, focusing on Louise as she raised her eyebrows before laughing, shaking her head with a warm smile on her face.

“Alright, Danny. If you say so.” She grinned. “I have to go out… I have a brunch date with my  _ boyfriend… _ ” Her grin grew and Dan reflected it, congratulating her. “And honestly, it doesn’t concern me in the slightest what you and Phil get up to. Have your fun - just be safe.” She winked and Dan sighed, his blush intensifying.

"But Louise we're not..." He started.

“I know, I know.” She interrupted, smiling genuinely. “I’m just saying that if you were… I wouldn’t care.” Dan frowned, wondering why she had such a knowing smile on her face. He didn’t know anything! Before he could ask her what she was talking about, she’d left, waving a final goodbye to Dan. He shook his head, letting out a long breath before standing back and heading back to the room. He needed that scarf.

About to head straight in, Dan paused outside the door to Phil’s room. He blushed at the thought that Phil might be… occupied with something. Not knowing what else to do he knocked on the door tentatively, sighing in relief when a casual, “Come on in!” was called from the other side. He opened the door to see Phil, fully dressed, on his laptop sitting atop a freshly made bed, looking through comments on their video. Dan was quick to snatch his scarf and put in on before joining Phil on the bed, feeling suddenly over-aware of how much space was between them, making sure to keep a safe distance.

“I told Louise.” He blurted out suddenly, cursing himself. He really needed to start thinking before opening his mouth - this was starting to become an all too often occurrence for him. “I explained that nothing happened - it was all just bad timing. Oh - and I told her about the other day with the lady - why I have the uh…” Dan raised a hand to tug on his scarf and Phil nodded, eyes not leaving the screen.

“People seem to really like our Truth or Dare video.” He noted, scrolling through the comments on their most recent video. “They want us to do a liveshow together so they can get to know you better.” 

Dan blinked. A liveshow? The thought made his stomach feel suddenly empty, pulse quickening. There was no editing in a liveshow. No time to stop and think - or discuss what to do next. No going back and cutting something out if you sounded stupid. 

“So… do you think you’d want to?” Phil asked, finally turning and looking at Dan who gulped, fidgeting a bit on the bed.

“Uh… I don’t know.” He answered honestly. “Maybe. Maybe we can do a few more videos together first, though. I’m still not quite used to this whole ‘talking to a camera’ thing.”

“Alright.” Phil agreed simply, returning to his scrolling. Dan pulled out his phone and sat beside his friend in comfortable silence as they both sat and browsed through the internet for the rest of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Let me know your thoughts, and I'll see you guys in a week :D


End file.
